


a little bit scandalous

by vulpexin



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), K-pop, Real Person Fiction, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/M, Romance, there are other idols mentioned from bts/seventeen/wanna one/rv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulpexin/pseuds/vulpexin
Summary: Jennie is only good at reading tea leaves, not Slytherin Chasers who have a penchant for getting hurt.





	1. i live because i can't die

**Author's Note:**

>   
>       [](https://78.media.tumblr.com/90aea1cd0142792d6aad74e1b0aa753c/tumblr_p2lvzidGE61w1il9do2_400.jpg)  
>   
>  _so name a game to play, and i'll roll the dice - ariana grande_ ,  _[into you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ekZEVeXwek)_  
> 
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   
>  crossposted to [AFF](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1273277/a-little-bit-scandalous-crackship-yoongi-bts-jennie-hogwartsau-suga-blackpink-blackpinkbts-yoonnie)  
> 

 

It’s when Jennie has just stepped over the threshold to the Hospital Wing, but can’t seem to bring herself to walk in any further than a few steps, that she realizes that the Sorting Hat had been right all along in its adamance in not placing her in Gryffindor. She’s not a coward, okay? She’s just . . . _lacking_ in areas that require more than an icy smile and faux bravery.

 

The Hospital Wing is eerily quiet; the only sounds she hears are the loud yelling from the small crowd watching the mock Quidditch game outside—it’s the first year where all the Captains are actually on good terms with each other and it's resulted in a tradition of all four Houses playing smaller scales games in between the official ones—and her own uneven breaths. All the beds are empty, all neatly made with privacy screens running perfectly parallel to the edges. The emptiness should comfort her; after all, if nobody is here, then Jennie can say that she tried and failed to carry out the silly idea that has rooted itself in the back of her mind since Merlin knows when.

 

Sort of. Jennie knows that she’ll have to come back here again (and again and _again)_ and that, while she’s at Hogwarts, there’s technically going to be endless opportunities for her to ask, but she digresses. This is one of those times when she wishes she actually felt more confident in herself because then her hands wouldn’t be visibly shaking and her feet wouldn’t feel like they’ve been rooted to the ground. If she was just a bit . . . _more,_ then she wouldn’t be stuck in this limbo, too scared to progress but too stubborn to back out.

 

Jennie doesn’t realize that she’s crouched on the ground, hands clenched, eyes squeezed shut and breathing labored until she tastes something distinctively metallic and feels a gentle touch on her shoulder.

 

She jerks away, eyes flying wide open. Her lip stings.

 

Min Yoongi is kneeled down in front of her, hand outstretched. He has an eyebrow raised as he slowly drops his hand. She knows him—or rather, knows of him. Yoongi’s reputation precedes him; all quidditch players have a weight to their name and as Slytherin’s prized Chaser, he’s no exception. Jennie doesn’t think she’s ever talked to him before though; he’s a seventh year, a year above her, in a completely different house and they don’t run in the same social circle.

 

She’s startled out of her thoughts when he snaps his fingers unsettlingly close to her face.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks. There’s an exasperated quality to his voice and she bristles defensively. He must think she's insane— _she_ thinks she's insane—for nearly breaking down in the Hospital Wing.

 

She wonders how the other students will see her if Yoongi decides to tell other people about this. She already has a questionable reputation—apparently only properly socializing with her three friends on a daily basis and barely anybody else has cemented her reputation as a frigid bitch. And even Ravenclaws think she studies too much (though _that_ , she can't refute).

 

“Yes,” Jennie snaps, trying to collect herself. She had been so sure that nobody else would be here—the wing had seemed so empty and during the Hogsmeade weekend, people were usually out in town or taking advantage of the silence around the halls to study.

 

By now, Yoongi is on his feet. He has his hands casually tucked in the pockets of his trousers and annoyance sparks within her at the unreadable look on his face. “Why are you here then? You don’t look hurt.”

 

“That’s none of your bloody business.” Her words come out poisonous, harsh and vicious, and Jennie knows she’s being unreasonably aggressive. She momentarily closes her eyes. Takes a deep, _deep_ breath and exhales. “Do you know where Madam Pomfrey is?”

 

His reply has her resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Not here.”

 

“Thanks,” she says dryly and finally rises to her feet.

 

When she looks up after adjusting her bag on her shoulder, there’s a mischievous light in his eyes, a playful quirk tugging at his lips that slowly disappears as he tilts his head, eyes focused distantly on something beyond her. She hears it a beat later: the voice that floats down the hall, increasing in strength, and the footsteps that accompany it.

 

Her eyes meet his momentarily and then he’s moving, slipping under the covers of a bed with a grace she reluctantly admires. He fakes sleep just as Madam Pomfrey appears in the door, hands on her hips and brows furrowed in thought.

 

“Jennie!” Madam Pomfrey exclaims, the skin between her brows smoothing out as she smiles. “Are you here for the _drink_?”

 

Jennie cringes at the way Madam Pomfrey stresses the last word but nods anyways. She follows the nurse towards the back of the room, lips caught between her teeth as nervousness starts to pool in her belly again.

 

“I was wondering,” Jennie begins as she accepts the large, opaque bottle Madam Pomfrey passes to her. She clutches it close to her rapidly beating heart as if it's a lifeline and struggles to meet Madam Pomfrey’s expectant gaze. “I just . . . thanks.”

 

Jennie can't help the self-hatred that burns through her or the sudden dryness in her throat, but she keeps her head up anyways as Madam Pomfrey tells her not to worry. She feels eyes burning into her back as she makes her way out of the Hospital Wing. Red rises to her cheeks. And amidst the disappointment clouding her mind, a thought appears, fleeting and curious: why was Yoongi here and looking perfectly fine when Slytherin was playing outside with the other players?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jennie can't help the loud exhale that passes her lips as she props her chin up with the palm of her hand and waits for the tea to cool. The noise catches the attention of Jisoo, who's sitting next to her at the round table.

 

“Is everything okay?” Jisoo asks, concern evident in her eyes.

 

Less steam is rising and when Jennie presses the tips of her fingers to the sides of the teacup, it's lukewarm to the touch. “Yeah,” she says eventually as she picks up the tea and takes a sip. She grimaces at the bitter taste but manages to drink the rest, careful to leave the dregs.

 

She passes the cup to Jisoo who, in return, nudges over her own cup. The room is noisy as usual, full of people making predictions and bad mouthing the course; it's no secret that most people only take Divination to fill up their schedule when they want a lighter load.

 

Still, Jisoo’s lips are uncharacteristically turned down as she inspects Jennie’s teacup, especially when Jinhwan’s voice sounds out from behind them, loud and clear as he declares Divination as “the bloody most useless class he's ever taken”.

 

Annoyance flares in her and Jennie is already acting before her mind can catch up. She tosses her hair over a shoulder, purposefully moving her chair back until she hits Jinhwan’s back roughly. “ _Merlin_ ,” Jennie sneers without looking back. She can practically feel Jinhwan tensing up behind her. “I know some people are shite at divination but you'd think they'd at least have the foresight to understand things are hard if you don't put any bloody effort into it.”

 

“Who the fuck asked for your opinion?” Jinhwan snaps.

 

Jennie glances at him as she scoots her chair back into its original position, faking innocence. “Why do you assume I was talking about you?”

 

Jinhwan’s jaw is tense—Slytherins never take well to being mocked—but it's nearing the end of class and he's clearly done nothing but talk. He mutters curses (there's no doubt in Jennie’s mind that they’re directed at her) as he turns back to his table, body still tense. She rolls her eyes.

 

“You didn't have to.” Jisoo's voice almost gets lost in all the other voices but she's smiling now and that makes Jennie smile as well. Jennie is close to Lisa, Chaeyoung and Jisoo but she's arguably the closest to Jisoo, who is the only one out of the three in the same House and year as her.

 

“It's fine,” Jennie says as she flips open her copy of _Unfogging the Future_. And it really is. She knows that Jisoo is thinking of pursuing something related to Divination in the future and Jennie gets it; it's frustrating when other people are always talking down on something you love, making you doubt yourself as well. “I like divination too, remember?”

 

There’s something fascinating about being able to predict the future—or, well, trying to anyways. She’d like that, she thinks, to be able to know whether a certain path will lead her to success or failure before it’s too late to back out. Or, maybe it just feels nice to be somewhat inherently good at something. Jennie wouldn't necessarily call herself a natural at divination—at least, not in the way Jisoo is—but she’s usually able to discern the shapes the dregs form themselves into. _Usually_ , being the keyword. Jennie squints at the blobs in the teacup.

 

If she tilts her head _this_ way, then she thinks she sees a guitar. There's another blob near the guitar that looks like a sun. But then again, looking at it from this other angle makes it look like a vase, albeit an extremely round one.

 

Jennie frowns, trying to piece together a reasonable prediction by deciphering the meaning of the shapes: fortune with love and happiness with a friend possibly in need or danger. “I see nothing but good things for you,” she decides, “but maybe you’ll want to keep an eye on Lisa if she’s insistent on joining Gryffindor’s quidditch team.”

 

Jisoo groans and Jennie laughs; Lisa’s an exchange student currently living with Jisoo and while Jisoo is really fond of Lisa, Lisa is extremely mischievous and prone to injuries from all her antics. Some pranks normally associated with Jungkook and Taehyung, notorious troublemakers in Gryffindor, are already being linked to Lisa’s name instead.

 

“I promised her parents that I’d keep her out of trouble,” Jisoo says, deflating. “I’m not doing a very good job, am I?”

 

“She’s only broken her arm once. That’s pretty good in my books.”

 

Jisoo glances up from the teacup and stares at Jennie contemplatively. “I don’t even know _how_ you manage to get so many bruises and scratches. Are you secretly practicing quidditch at night too?”

 

“You know I’m not good with heights,” Jennie says before nudging Jisoo. “Hey, tell me my fortune before class ends.”

 

“You’ll achieve something as long as you keep working at it,” Jisoo says, going back to inspect the dregs. She hesitates. “And you might find yourself falling out of favor with a friend, but things will eventually get better. They _will_ ,” Jisoo repeats more insistently at the doubtful look on Jennie’s face and abruptly draws Jennie into a hug. “I know you’ve been really tired lately and you’re still trying to figure out what you want to do after Hogwarts, but everything is going to work out. It’s going to be okay.”

 

And those words, coming from anybody else, might have sounded meaningless but Jisoo’s the most genuine person Jennie knows and she says it with such certainty that Jennie finds herself believing it, even if it’s just for a little bit.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I’m done.”

 

Jennie nearly falls out of her seat as Chaeyoung loudly slams her textbook shut. She stares at Chaeyoung, wide-eyed, as the girl adjusts her blue and bronze tie.

 

“Oh come on,” Chaeyoung says defiantly even as a blush starts to work its way across her cheeks, “we’ve been studying since lunch and the library is closing now. I think we’re overdue for a break.”

 

Jennie casts a look at all the other tired students leaving, then at all her open books and half filled parchment paper. She slumps in her seat. “I was almost done with this essay too,” Jennie sighs as she starts gathering her papers.

 

“For what class?” Chaeyoung peers at the paper, raising an eyebrow as she skims the contents. “Muggle Studies?”

 

“We’re learning about muggle entertainment right now,” Jennie says, pointing to the pile of vinyls stacked neatly on the table. She hoists her bag over her shoulders and gathers the vinyls in her arms; they’re not her’s and she doesn’t want to break them by putting them in her bag. “These are called vinyls. Muggles listen to the music on them.”

 

“How?”

 

“I don’t know,” Jennie reluctantly admits. Half the time she spent in the library today was just to find out how to operate the damn thing but she hadn’t even figured it out in the end. Despite its vast size, the library has a surprisingly sparse section on Muggle entertainment, mostly due to wizards and witches having little, if any, interest in Muggles. Plus, the Second Wizarding War was still fresh in people’s minds and books that alone probably outnumbered books about Muggles now. At this rate, she was going to fall behind in all her other classes and she _can’t_ let that happen.

 

Chaeyoung hums, flinching a little as the librarian glares at them for heading out so late; Jennie barely resists the urge to glare back. She spends too much time in the library as is and she certainty doesn’t need the librarian on her bad side.

 

Jennie knows she’s stubborn to a fault; once she latches onto something, she has a hard time letting go and it’s proven by the way her unfinished essay stays on her mind even as they walk further away from the library. She’s itching to sit down in a quiet, isolated area, hold her quill again and just tick off everything on her to do list, no matter how long it takes her. The ajar door she spots in her peripheral vision leading to an empty classroom seems like a blessing.

 

“Jennie?” Chaeyoung is looking at her, confusion written on her face. Jennie mutters an apology as Chaeyoung continues, “Do you want to head to the kitchen and see if we can convince the house elves to give us food before we head back?”

 

“Actually,” Jennie hedges, “I think I’m going to study a little bit more.”

 

“Where . . . ?” Chaeyoung looks confused for a moment before she sees the classroom. She sighs good naturedly. “Always the studious one, I see. I’m going to head to the kitchen then. Promise me you won’t stay up too late!”

 

“I’ll try,” Jennie laughs and waves at Chaeyoung before slipping into the classroom and closing the door behind her. Instead of turning on the lights, she heads to a desk at the corner of the room and pulls out her wand before softly murmuring, “ _Lumos_.”

 

With the silence and ambient lighting, Jennie finds herself being able to concentrate easily as she starts on her Herbology homework. As she writes, fighting down the restlessness that runs throughout her bones, her mind wanders back to the prediction Jisoo made for her a couple days ago.

 

_Things will eventually get better._

 

Jennie hopes so.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s not until Jennie accidentally pricks herself with her writing quill while nodding off and nearly knocks over her ink pot that she realizes she massively underestimated the time she’d spend in the classroom. She glances at her watch and curses; it’s two in the morning, way past curfew. Her body still feels heavy with sleep as she moves to gather her stuff and she has to stop multiple times to make sure she doesn’t accidentally tip over in her daze.

 

The halls are unsurprisingly empty by now, illuminated in a sinister, silvery light by the moonlight seeping in through the windows. The harsh, cool glow that lights up the hallway is an unsettling contrast to the soft, warm light her wand had emitted. Jennie shivers a little and holds the vinyls closer to her chest as she picks up her pace. She swears she sees something moving in the shadows and when she turns the corner, she’s met with resistance, forehead slamming into something hard.

 

Jennie makes an indignant noise, hand automatically going to gingerly probe at her aching forehead, before she glances up and blurts out, “Why are you here?”

 

“Why are _you_ here?” Min Yoongi retorts, hand massaging his shoulder as he takes a step away from her with a disgruntled look.

 

She groans. “Are you just going to ask me the same thing every time you see me?”

 

“I don’t—” he breaks off, eyes widening at the sound of a soft meow. Jennie panics and instinctively grabs his wrist to tug them into the closest room she finds.

 

“A broom closet? Really?” Yoongi hisses even as he shuts the door behind him with his free hand.

 

“Do you have a better idea?” Jennie glares at him. “You’re free to head out anytime you—”

 

She makes a protesting noise when Yoongi covers her mouth. He jerks his head over at the door and she reluctantly falls silent. The broom closet is ridiculously cluttered; Jennie can’t help but focus on their proximity and the way she's almost flush against his side. It takes her a moment to realize that she's still holding his wrist but when she does, she let's go quickly. Soft footsteps accompanied by a gravelly voice and the occasional meow gradually grow louder until she can hear Filch and Mrs Norris right outside. Her heart pounds. She squeezes her eyes shut and holds her breath, only exhaling when the two eventually leave, their voices fading into the distance.

 

“What the fuck is digging into me?”

 

Jennie startles at Yoongi’s voice. She draws her vinyls closer to her chest protectively but he manages to grasp one and hold up to the dim light bulb hanging from the ceiling before she can react.

 

He looks surprised. “A vinyl?”

 

“Give it _back_ ,” Jennie says impatiently, scowling when he only leans back, arm still held high, when she leans forwards to try to snatch it from him. “Don't you dare break it, Yoongi. It's not even mine. I got it from my Muggle Studies classroom.”

 

Now he looks intrigued, arm lowering slightly. “You take Muggle Studies?”

 

“Yes. You don't even want these,” Jennie says, this time, aiming her scowl at the stupid vinyl. “They don't work.”

 

“You know how to use a record player?”

 

Jennie falters. “A what?”

 

“A record player,” Yoongi repeats. “It's what you play vinyls on.”

 

She stares at him, an incredulous “Are you serious?” on the tip of her tongue; in retrospect, she realizes how dumb it was to just assume a flat, thin disk would be capable of producing any sound by itself. With her previous annoyance fading and the dull shock running through her, she realizes how close they are again. It’s an idle thought—how years of playing quidditch must have paid off for him—but she’s instantly horrified at herself.

 

Clearing her throat, she steps back and looks away briefly before meeting his amused gaze. “How did you know what a record player is?” she demands. “You’re not taking Muggle Studies either. I’ve never seen you in my class.” And she doesn’t say it verbally but Yoongi just doesn't seem like the type to pay any attention to Muggles anyways. He's a pureblood, part of a lineage that's known to look unfavorably on those they consider beneath them. There were even rumors around this time last year of Yoongi falling out of favor with his parents over something—presumably his desire to keep playing Quidditch rather than pursuing a position in the Ministry.

 

This time, he’s the one who looks away, cheeks pink. “Why does it matter to you?”

 

She takes this opportunity to reach up and pluck the vinyl from his fingers. “It doesn’t,” she says firmly. “Open the door, will you?”

 

He’s oddly silent as he does what she says, eyes still lingering on the vinyls in her arms. “I could show you how to use the record player, if you want.” She stares at him and by his wide eyes, he clearly hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

 

She considers it; she doesn't even know how to use a record player, let alone how it looks like and where to find it. But it's not like she _needs_ Yoongi to figure out how to use it now that she's learned of the the name. Beside, the thought of having to ask for help makes her stomach turn. Her traitorous mouth is apparently disconnected from her brain though, because she just says, “Right now?”

 

Apparently they both lack filters at two in the morning. Or it's sleep deprivation coming into play. Yeah, she'll blame it on that. Because there's no other reason why she'd lead him towards the Muggle Studies showroom and to the closet in the back, where a bunch of non magical items are for the students to play around with. He shows her how to use the record player with an ease that has her suspicious, but she's distracted by the childlike awe that lights up his eyes when the music starts to play.

 

Exhaustion seeps into her bones, clouding her mind, but she stays as he rummages through the vinyls, introducing her to songs by singers she's never heard of, well into the night. And she can't bring herself to stop him; it's sort of inspiring seeing him be so passionate about something so openly. So she stays, well into the night, and can't bring herself to regret the decision.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next time she runs into Yoongi, she quite literally runs into him. Nobody is hurt this time, but papers are strewn on the ground. Jennie feels relieved at how she had the foresight to actually number the pages of her Muggle Studies essay this time.

 

“We can't keep meeting up like this,” Yoongi jokes.

 

Jennie snorts, crouching down to pick up her papers. It's quite a sizable stack when she's done, and she's momentarily confused by the paper lined with bars and dots on the top. It takes her a moment to realize what it is. “I think you dropped this,” Jennie says as she hands the sheet music to him. “I didn't know Slytherin’s prized Chaser liked writing music in his free time.”

 

She's joking but his lips have set in a hard line and his expression is oddly serious when he says, “It's not exactly something I've been advertising.”

 

Her smile fades. An awkward silence stretches out between them, and she shuffles through the papers she picked up mainly for something to do with her hands. “I learned how to play the violin when I was younger,” she says in an effort to lighten the atmosphere. “My mom thought it was feminine thing to do.” Jennie glances at him. “Was that violin sheet music?”

 

“Piano,” he corrects.

 

“Ah. Was it something by the artists on the vinyls?”

 

“I . . .” He looks conflicted, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. The edges of the sheet music crumple under his grip. “It's original stuff,” he eventually says. A moment of silence, then: “Do you want to hear it?”

 

She stares at him.The offer feels heavy, laden with implications and it has her stomach twisting in nervous knots. “I mean—sure. Just for a little bit though. I have a lot of things I need to do.” It's true; it seems like all she ever does is eat, sleep and work on the never ending assignments from all her classes.

 

“For what classes?”

 

She lists them, ticking each one off on a finger, as she follows him down the hallway and up the stairs: Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Divination, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies.

 

The interior looks familiar—there's a grand piano tucked in a corner and chairs neatly arranged in the center of the room—and she belatedly realizes it's the music classroom. She remembers Chaeyoung talking about it once when the Frog Choir had to practice in there once (“It has subpar acoustics,” Chaeyoung complained, “and the seats are horribly uncomfortable.”).

 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Sounds intense. Are you planning on becoming a Healer or something?”

 

“Or something,” she says a little too quickly despite the fluttering in her chest at just the name. “I don't,” she breaks off. The fluttering feeling disappears. Something in her chest tightens. “It wouldn't be practical for me to become a Healer, anyways.”

 

He studies her, looking as if he wants to say something but stays silent. “I think you could make it,” he just says instead of prying. He sits down at the piano bench and after a brief moment of contemplation, she sits next to him on his left. It's a tight fit; their thighs are brushing and it feels oddly intimate but this time, she's distracted.  

 

_You think?_ Her heart skips a beat, but she digs her nails into her palms and forces the feeling away. “I doubt it.”

 

“What else are you going to do if you're not going to become a healer though?”

 

“I don't know.” Jennie frowns, tugging at a strand of her brown hair. “I suppose I’d apply for muggle university and go from there.”

 

“You sound terribly unsure,” Yoongi observes.

 

“Is it wrong if I am?” she responds defensively.

 

He looks away. Exhales. “No. I suppose not.” They fall silent as he taps out a melody on the piano using only his right hand, his left hand curled around the edge of the bench behind her back. It's a haunting melody, high pitched and thin and the notes linger in the air long after he's done.

 

“It sounds nice,” Jennie says eventually, voice soft as if to keep the fragility of this moment intact. “You could be a pianist if you didn't want to be a Quidditch player.”

 

“I doubt it,” he echoes. “I have a reputation to keep,” he laughs dryly, eyes focused on the keys. “Can't dirty the family name, you know.”

 

“Not really,” Jennie says. It was a situation out of her control and she hasn't needed to settled for perfection since. Her parents are still learning to come to terms with her. Jennie remembers with a hollow pang the forced smile her mother had given her when she boarded the train to Hogwarts and the way her father had struggled to just acknowledge her. “But, uh, I think I get it. Sort of.” She meets his gaze evenly and there’s a strange upturn to his lip as he runs his fingers over the piano keys.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


(And it sort of becomes a _thing_ between them, him showing her his compositions while she shows him items from the showroom. They don't talk outside of those moments—or really even acknowledge each other at all in passing—but those moments, where she has zero expectations placed on her and feels like she gets to put the world on pause for a moment . . . they’re _nice_.

 

It's a little strange, she thinks, being alone with him but she’s finding she doesn't mind it much.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Jennie!”

 

Jennie glances up from the book in her hands to spot Chaeyoung sliding into the seat across from her in the noisy pub. Jisoo and Lisa were here earlier too but, upon Jisoo’s insistence, had decided to head to Madam Puddifoot’s so that Lisa could try their pastries. Jennie opted to stay here so that she could read more and wait for Chaeyoung, who had a last minute choir practice to attend.

 

“I’m sorry for making you wait!” Chaeyoung pants, clearly winded.

 

“No worries,” Jennie reassures her as she tucks a bookmark into the pages of the book. She fights the urge to hide the cover when Chaeyoung’s eyes land on the book.

 

“You’re already looking at careers, huh?”

 

“It's never too early,” Jennie says, tone nonchalant. She slides it into her bag and stands up. “Let’s go meet Jisoo and Lisa.”

 

Jennie and Rose leave The Three Broomsticks to go to Honeydukes, where Jennie agreed to meet up with Jisoo and Lisa. Chills run up her spine as the Shrieking Shack comes into view in the distance, partly hidden behind the buildings that line the roads. By the way Chaeyoung grasps her arm, trembling a little, Chaeyoung must have seen it too.

 

“It's so scary,” Chaeyoung says, her anxiousness evident in her body language and voice.

 

Jennie nods in agreement, shifting her gaze. “Yeah,” she breathes. “I wish it didn't have to be there.”

 

She shifts her gaze, praying that the unease will fade and raises an eyebrow when she sees Yoongi walking out of the post office further up the street. It's weird not seeing him in Hogwarts; she likens it to the feeling of imaging her teachers outside of their classrooms. She frowns. Yoongi may have a reputation as an ice prince of sorts, frigid and aloof, but the aura he's exuding right now is anything but icy. He looks furious, the embodiment of fire, unrestrained and dangerous. For a moment, she's tempted to head over there but then she shakes her head. They might have met up a few times in secret now but this was a public area. Jennie has these unspoken rules drafted in her head and not openly talking to him, not breaking the acquaintanceship they have is one of them.

 

Things are different. They're not supposed to _know_ each other. So she turns away, quickening her pace so that she falls in step with Chaeyoung.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jennie tugs her scarf higher up her neck, grimacing when it just slips down her shoulder again after a moment. It's windy out on the quidditch pitch. There are a lot of people here; it's the first game, after all, and tensions run high especially since it's Gryffindor against Slytherin. Though Jisoo, Chaeyoung and her are all in Ravenclaw, they’re here to support Lisa, who made it onto Gryffindor’s quidditch team as the Seeker.

 

Or so Jisoo says. While Jennie is sure that Jisoo loves Lisa like a sister, Jennie has an inkling that Jisoo’s mostly here because of her new crush on Kim Taehyung, fellow sixth year and one of Gryffindor’s Chasers.

 

Jisoo is rambling as she trails Jennie and Jennie is getting impatient with how slowly Chaeyoung is moving on the aisles of the spectator stand, clearly too timid and polite to force her way past all students. Jennie maneuvers past Chaeyoung so that she can find empty seats for them faster. They eventually find places near the center of Ravenclaw’s section. Though it's expected for Gryffindor and Slytherin’s sections to be full, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff’s sections are oddly crowded as well. Jennie suspects that it has something to do with Jungkook, Gryffindor’s new Keeper who comes from a family full of famous Quidditch players and is apparently a prodigy himself, despite not trying out for the team for some reason until now.

 

“Lisa better not do anything stupid,” Jisoo says, fingers tightening around her binoculars. Her face slowly goes white when she hears a murmuring from the crowd, indicating that the game was starting soon. “Oh Merlin, imagine if she gets injured during the first game. Or worse, dies! Have any players died from playing quidditch yet? It should be okay, right? Her mother is going to bloody kill me—”

 

As Chaeyoung tried to reassure Jisoo, Jennie finds herself looking at Slytherin’s corner. Three Slytherins—one of them being Yoongi, she notices—are standing right on the borders of the pitch near the changing rooms. Lee Jieun, a seventh year Slytherin who happens to be the Captain and Seeker of the team, is talking to both Yoongi and Park Jimin, another Chaser. Rumor has it that Jieun is rooting for Jimin to take over the team after she graduates, which is probably why he’s with the two seventh years right now despite only being in his sixth year himself. Something in her chest tightens when Jieun takes a step closer to Yoongi, murmuring something in his ear.     

 

Jennie looks away.

 

The crowd erupts in a cheer as the Quidditch players file out and take off into the air. There’s static, and then Ong Seongwoo’s voice echoes across the field, loud and cheerful. Personally, Jennie thinks that he's a questionable commentator at best because of his obvious bias towards Gryffindor—shown even more apparent when his best friend, Kang Daniel, makes it off reserve—but he makes the game entertaining to listen to for those who aren't huge Quidditch fanatics.

 

Yoongi looks a little distracted during the game, but still makes what Jennie assumes are decent plays and scores a bit. He’s hovering towards the side of the pitch when Seungcheol barely manages to make it in time to deflect a Bludger, with had been following Taehyung, with the very tip of his bat. It goes careening off in a different direction—right at Yoongi. And later, when she's reliving the scene over and over again in her mind, she'll swear that Yoongi had seen it, that his head had tilted, just enough so that he'd spot the black ball out of his peripheral vision before he looked away at the opposite direction.

 

The terrified screams are almost enough to mask the sickening crack that resonates throughout the field when the Bludger crashes into Yoongi’s arm, causing him to lose his grip on his broom and tumble off. Jieun looks shocked, yelling something frantically but her voice is lost in all the noise. Jimin is already flying after Yoongi, broom dangerously vertical as he nosedives, hand out reached and jaw clenched.

 

He’s a heartbeat too late.

 

(Jennie leaves the pitch shortly later, accompanying Chaeyoung when Chaeyoung claims she feels nauseous, barely making it a few feet into the corridors of the building before she empties her stomach in the nearest trash can.

 

Jennie pats Chaeyoung’s hunched back, gingerly reaching for any orange strands that escape Chaeyoung’s messy braid. The image of Yoongi's motionless body, arm twisted at an unnatural angle, is engraved in her mind.

 

She feels a little sick herself.)

 


	2. you will fully bloom after all the hardships

It's not that the thought of visiting him hasn't occurred to her—Merlin knows why but it _has_ and in her defense, she did try once. She managed to walk all the way up to the Hospital Wing despite her uncertainness but then she saw the people surrounding him—Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and Lee fucking Jieun to name a few—and she chickened out.

 

Like she said, bravery, _actual_ bravery in its purest form, is not her strong suit.

 

But the image of him is still burned in her mind and despite her efforts at maintaining apathy, she’s still worried. Which leads her to here, where she’s standing a little distance from the edge of Yoongi’s hospital bed, armed crossed and gaze shameless as Yoongi stares back, skin almost translucent in the moonlight.

 

He yawns.

 

Somehow, this infuriates her more.

 

“You knew it was going to happen,” she accuses. Something that has been writhing in her chest since the day he fell off his broom suddenly seems less painful. She has to breathe before she continues, has to make sure that her breath is stable as she says, “You tried to cop out. You didn’t even _try_ to avoid the bludger.”

 

The rays of moonlight trickling down past the windows is the only source of light in this room and Jennie finds it so unsettling. But she finds the clenching feeling in her chest even more unsettling and she just wants to make this feeling _go_ _away_.

 

“Do you even like Quidditch?”

 

It’s like magic; he deflates just like that.

 

“Was it that obvious?” he asks, the corners of his lips tugging down.

 

She shrugs; in all honesty, she doesn’t know if the only reason she even noticed was because she had kept a close eye on him the entire game. Now that her suspicions are confirmed though, it just makes her even more confused. “You didn’t answer my question.”

 

At this, Yoongi laughs hollowly. “I thought I liked Quidditch but now I’m not so sure. In fact, I haven’t been sure for a while.” He meets her gaze, self deprecation clear in his eyes. “I’m fucked, aren’t I? In my seventh year, with no clue about what I want to do in the future.”

 

“Music,” Jennie offers without hesitation before realizing that maybe, that’s not the answer he wants to hear.

 

“My parents were already reluctant to let me play Quidditch as a career, let alone be a _musician_.” She frowns at the way he spits out the last word; it’s venomous but his body language is just tired.

 

Things seem to fall in place before her eyes—Yoongi staying quiet about the fact that he can play the piano (and is bloody _good_ at it too), Yoongi’s mysterious fallout with his parents a year ago, Yoongi storming off after receiving mail.

 

Without even knowing it, she’s moved to stand at the edge of his bedside. It occurs to her how _strange_ this situation must be for him, to be woken up by her storming in after everyone is supposed to leave. While she feels disconnected from reality, there’s a feeling of deja vu that settles in her.

 

(She won’t vocalize it but it reminds her of the moment he first played the piano for her weeks ago—like the universe shifted and time stopped just for that one delicate moment.)

 

Jennie tilts her head, wonders why he hasn’t yet questioned her about being here. But she supposed it’s kind of their thing—secret little rendezvous.

 

“I want to become a Healer,” she confesses.

 

Yoongi shifts in his bed, looking at her from under hooded, sleepy eyes. “Really,” he says. He doesn’t question her use of present tense or ask why she’s telling him this.

 

“I just—wouldn’t it be fantastic to wake up everyday knowing that you’ve made a visible impact in somebody’s life?” She’s absentmindedly tracing a meaningless pattern on his blanket as she says this. “I want to become a Healer but … I can’t,” she continues. That familiar aching feeling is back, as if something is clenching at her heart and draping it’s heavy arms around her to remind her of reality. It’s hard to stop dreaming though—that’s why she’s still taking classes a Healer would require.

 

“For what it’s worth, I think you’d have a good shot of becoming one with how much you study everyday,” he says lightly and laughs at her half hearted scowl.

 

It finally sinks in how close she is to him and she takes a few steps back. “Thanks Yoongi,” she says. She’s not quite sure what she’s thanking him for—for listening to her ramble, maybe, or not hexing her for randomly showing up—but it just feels right to do so.

 

“It’s no problem,” he dismisses but he’s smiling softly at her and this time, _that’s_ the image that lingers in her mind.

  
  
  
  
  


(Perhaps it’s presumptuous to say, but sometimes Jennie does really think that the universe was kind enough to shift just for them. After all, if magic is real, then anything can happen, right?)

  
  
  
  
  


“You need to keep your grades up,” Jennie lectures. It sounds half assed at best and she cringes; Jisoo entrusted her with “knocking some sense into Lisa” after multiple professors told Jisoo that Lisa was in danger of failing. Normally, Jennie wouldn’t have bothered but both Jisoo and Lisa begged her to tutor Lisa.

 

When Jennie asked Jisoo why couldn’t do it herself—Jisoo claimed that she was already tutoring somebody else.

 

“Taehyung?”

 

Jisoo shrugged. “He told me he was struggling with Transfiguration.”

 

Jennie raised an eyebrow. Both girls are in the same class as Taehyung and while Jennie doesn’t know him too well, he had certainly never looked like he was struggling as much as Jisoo said he was. Besides, in all honestly, Jisoo wasn’t the best person to ask for help when it came to Transfiguration—she tended to be clumsy with her wand.

 

Maybe Jisoo’s crush wasn’t so one-sided after all.

 

Jennie doesn’t think about it any longer though, pulled out of her thoughts when she hears Lisa calling her name right when she bumps into someone.

 

“Careful,” Yoongi says, hand warm on her arm. He releases her arm with a smirk when she just rolls her eyes at him and leaves before Jennie can get a word in.

 

“What was that?” Lisa gestures in the vague direction Yoongi left in.

 

“What was what?” Jennie fakes innocence and continues walking, leaving Lisa to scramble to keep up.

 

“You know,” Lisa says suspiciously, “I’m getting the feeling that you two know each other a lot better than you’re letting on.”

 

Jennie shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lies. “We barely know each other.”

 

“You know you can tell me anything,” Lisa says, opening her eyes in faux innocence and sticking her lower lip out.

 

“I—” Jennie breaks off, trying to change the subject when her eyes land on a familiar figure. “Jungkook!”

 

The said boy freezes in his tracks, one hand on the strap of his bag as he turns around slowly. “Jennie? Lisa?”

 

“We’re not done talking about this,” Lisa says under her breath before smiling brightly at Jungkook. “Hey, Jungkook! How was detention?”

 

“You’re lucky I didn’t rat you out,” Jungkook says petulantly as he waits for them to catch up. “You’re lucky I made sure _Taehyung_ didn’t rat you out.”

 

“My hero,” Lisa says dramatically, clutching his arm and swooning.

 

Jennie notices with interest that Jungkook’s cheeks turn bright red. “I probably don’t want to know what you did Lisa, do I?”

 

“No,” Lisa agrees cheerfully before her smile turns more sheepish. “What you do probably want to know is that I think I forgot my wand and textbooks in my room.”

 

“Lisa!” Jennie rubs her temples, exasperated.

 

“I’m sorry! I’ll grab it and go meet you in the library alright?” Lisa says, already walking away backwards as she adds, “I’ll see you later Jungkook.”

 

The two of them stare at Lisa’s retreating back. Jennie tries to suppress a fond smile despite her incoming headache; she can see why Jisoo is constantly worried about Lisa. She turns to look at Jungkook, who is still facing the direction Lisa left in; while they’re certainly not strangers, they’re not that close either—if they do happen to “hang” out, Lisa is always there acting as a bridge. She’s about to say goodbye when a thought occurs to her, one that’s been in the back of her mind ever since she went to the first Quidditch game of the season.

 

“Say,” Jennie levels a look on Jungkook, “why did you join the Quidditch team anyways?”

 

He squeaks, eyes growing wide and face turning red. “Because I wanted to?” he stutters out.

 

“Even though you could have gotten onto the team earlier?” He nods vigorously. Jennie tilts her head. “Chaeyoung was curious so I asked for her,” she lies. No reaction. “And Lisa was happy to hear that you’d be on the team,” she continues. This time, it’s not exactly a lie. Lisa is competitive and according to her, having Jungkook on the team significantly increased their chances of getting to the finals.

 

Jungkook goes even more wide eyed and blurts, “Really?” before immediately looking like he wants to die on the spot.

 

“Really,” Jennie confirms and pats Jungkook’s shoulder with a smirk. “In fact, why don’t you tutor Lisa in Charms? I’m sure people don’t call you the golden boy for nothing.”

 

“I don’t know,” Jungkook says. He looks conflicted, like he’s caught between being nervous and excited.

 

“Go to the table in the library closest to the bookshelves,” Jennie tells him before jogging away. “And make sure you two are actually studying!” She glares at Jungkook for good measure despite the boy looking mildly terrified. “Don’t corrupt her too much or I’ll send Jisoo after you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jennie huffs, fingers tapping on her thigh impatiently. A moment passes. She moves so that she’s sitting cross legged on the ground and leans against the wall of the music classroom. Another moment passes and still, nothing happens. “Come _on_ ,” Jennie finally says, faux glaring, “if you can bear the pain of having your arm broken, then you can drink tea.”

 

Yoongi makes a face. He’s sitting across from her, the lid of the thermos she had brought in his hands. “My _wrist_ was broken this time,” he says, “and tea is gross and bitter.”

 

“Just like you then?” Jennie laughs when he scowls. “How did you break your wrist?” She doesn’t say it but she thinks he understands anyways: _Was it to get out of playing another game?_

 

“Sooyoung is an aggressive player,” he responds, naming the sixth year Beater. He instinctively touches his wrist as he says so, as if there’s still a phantom pain lingering there though it's been a couple of days since the incident.  “It’s partially my fault anyways since I wasn’t paying attention during practice.”

 

“Tired?”

 

“I’ve just been inspired recently and I wanted to get all my ideas down before I forget them.” His eyes are bright as he says, “Do you want to hear it?”

 

“After you drink this tea.” She nudges his knee, rolling her eyes when he makes a face again. “Hey, you were the one who wanted me to read your tea leaves!”

 

“I was just curious! I’ve never met anyone who was good at tessomancy or any sort of Divination.” He raises the cup to his lips, hesitating, before drinking most of the tea in one go and handing the cup to her with a grimace. “Tell me if any of it is related to Quidditch.”

 

Jennie hums, tilting the cup towards her. A flower, possibly a lily or a lilac, she’s not quite sure. There’s also something circular—either a ball or something more prickly, like a thistle—and next to it, there’s the clear outline of a rose. “You’ll do well in your next game, I think.”

 

“How specific,” he says dryly despite looking markedly more interested. “The next match for Slytherin is against Ravenclaw, you know.” He pauses for a moment, watching her as she leans over to empty the cup of the leaves. “Are you coming?”

 

“To watch Ravenclaw lose?” Even without the tea reading indicating favorable results for Slytherin, Jennie is just being realistic; as much as Jisoo is rooting for Ravenclaw to win the Quidditch Cup, everybody knows that this year, in the end, the real match will be between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

 

Yoongi tilts his head, smirking. “To watch _me_ win.”

 

“You’re not going to be magically hurt again before the match? Get hit by a bludger again? Maybe get knocked out by the Snitch this time?”

 

The smirk fades into something softer and something flutters in Jennie’s stomach. “Not this time,” he says. It sounds a lot like a promise.

 

“Well,” Jennie pushes her hair behind her ear, trying to look unaffected, “I guess there’s a better chance of me going then.” She pretends not to notice the bright smile he wears after that, or the red rising to her cheeks from the way he’s looking at her. “Didn’t you have something you wanted to show me?”

  
  
  
  
  


Jisoo is staring at Jennie, uncharacteristically quiet with her mouth opened and eyes wide. Jennie wrinkles her nose and reaches over to close Jisoo’s mouth.

 

“Don’t chew with your mouth open,” Jennie says, glancing around at the Great Hall to make sure nobody besides them noticed. Chaeyoung hides a giggle behind her hand.

 

“That easily?” Jisoo finally snaps out of her daze but her voice is still colored with disbelief. “I don’t have to convince you anymore?”

 

“I missed the match against Hufflepuff so I might as well go to this one.” Jennie shrugs nonchalantly.

 

Jisoo raises an eyebrow. “No homework you have to complete weeks in advance for some reason?”

 

“I can always finish it later,” Jennie says. “And if I don’t, then my grades should be high enough to take the hit.”

 

Lisa, having joined them a few minutes ago despite looking out of place among the sea of blue and silver, leans forward over the table mischievously. “I wonder _why_ you’re suddenly so willing to go. Is it because of a certain Slytherin?”

 

Jennie glares at Lisa but thankfully, Jisoo speaks up. “Speaking of Slytherins, do you have one of their scarves in your bag, Chaeyoung?”

 

Chaeyoung blushes at all the attention, futilely trying to shove the green and silver scarf further down into her bag. “I—I guess?”

 

“You guess?” Lisa mocks playfully and points her fork at Chaeyoung. “So you’re telling me that Park Jimin _didn’t_ wrap his scarf around your neck and tell you to,” she deepens her voice, “wish him good luck?”

 

“He did?” Jennie glances at Chaeyoung who is now resolutely looking at her food.

 

“Maybe it’s just a Quidditch tradition or something,” Chaeyoung tries.

 

“Flirting with the enemy before a match? Yeah, no,” Lisa says. “Face it, Chaeyoung, Jimin has a crush on you.”

 

“He’s friendly to everyone,” Chaeyoung insists. Jennie understands Chaeyoung’s reluctance about even considering another relationship; her last relationship ended badly and crumbled all her confidence. Chaeyoung tends to fall hard and fall fast when it comes to love. Her ex, Jung Jaehyun, seemed like the perfect boyfriend at first but he gradually became more and more distant before he finally broke up with her, claiming that he had been harboring feeling for someone else—his quarter veela penpal from Beauxbaton, Jung Chaeyeon. It also doesn’t help that Jimin has an on and off relationship with Kang Seulgi from Hufflepuff that’s always a popular topic for students to gossip about—though recently, they’ve been more off than on.

 

“That’s true,” Jisoo says gently, patting Chaeyoung’s shoulder as she mimes zippering her mouth at Lisa, who gets the hint and now just looks guilty. “I’m sure Jimin was just being nice. Now come on, we’re going to miss the game if we don’t get going and _I_ personally want to admire Jinyoung’s shoulders.”

 

“Why don’t you admire my shoulders instead?” a new voice chimes in. Jennie turns to see Taehyung sliding into the seat next to Lisa. He’s pouting at Jisoo, who just sticks her tongue out at him.

 

“Jinyoung’s a Ravenclaw, which means he automatically has nicer shoulders,” she says. Jennie snorts; leave it to Jisoo to somehow include House spirit in everything. Taehyung’s pout deepens, becomes a little bit more genuine, but Jisoo doesn’t seem to notice as she continues, “We should start heading out.”

 

“I’ll see you girls later,” Lisa says, remaining seated even as Jennie and Chaeyoung stand up.

 

Jisoo narrows her eyes at Lisa, then at Taehyung. “What are you guys planning?”

 

“Nothing,” Lisa responds, a tad too innocently.

 

“I—no,” Jisoo decides, grabbing both Lisa and Taehyung’s wrists. “You two are coming with us to the game.”

 

“What?” Lisa protests. “I was going to—we have to … Taehyung! Back me up here!”

 

Taehyung glances at Lisa, who’s indiscreetly mouthing “ _the prank”_ before turning to look at Jisoo, who looks very unimpressed with the entire thing.

 

“Jisoo’s right,” Taehyung says faux seriously as he smoothly maneuvers his wrist out of Jisoo’s grip only to grab her hand instead. “We have to watch Ravenclaw play against Slytherin for the good of the school.”

 

“I knew you’d come around.” Jisoo beams.

 

“Betrayer!” Lisa yelps, almost stumbling as Taehyung starts dragging them to the Quidditch pitch.

 

Jennie exchanges an amused look with Chaeyoung.

 

“A Galleon on them getting together within two weeks,” Chaeyoung says as she loops her arm through Jennie’s.

 

Jennie laughs. “I’ll give them one week.”

 

(A month later, it’ll be Jennie who grudgingly pays up when Jisoo boldly asks Taehyung out in the middle of his Quidditch practice.)

  
  
  
  
  


The thing is, being a Ravenclaw doesn’t always mean that Jennie learns from her mistakes and it’s only proven when she finds herself in a broom closet with Yoongi again.

 

“This was a horrible idea,” Jennie whispers though she’s trying to stifle her laughter in fear of having a bloody _cat_ rat them out.

 

“This was _your_ idea,” he refutes but he’s smiling too as he says, “ _Lumos_.”

 

She winces, momentarily leaning into his chest, away from the blinding light, as he moves his wand to the side. The broom closet is impossibly cluttered and she flinches when she brushes up against something dusty. “You shouldn’t have encouraged me!”

 

“I encouraged you?”

 

“Don’t you know?” she says, leaning back so that she can see his face, half hidden in the shadows. “Insulting a Ravenclaw’s knowledge is like wounding their pride. I _had_ to go prove you wrong.”

 

“Right,” Yoongi says, “well now we know that _I’m_ right and that you’re shite at astrology.”

 

“Oh fuck you,” she says half heartedly.

 

He considers this, bottom lip caught between his teeth for a moment before a lazy, arrogant, decidedly _Slytherin_ smirk settles on his lips. “Do you want to?”

 

Her gaze flickers to his lips. She’s not the type of girl to hook up with people in broom closets but she _does_ want to kiss him. So she does, leaning forwards to press her lips against his carefully, hands tangling in his hair as his grip on her hips grows tighter and his teeth scrape against his lip.

 

It doesn’t even occur to her to not take the plunge; for some reason, closing the gap between them had come as naturally as the rest of their relationship.

 

She’s breathless when they part and there’s a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

 

(Now this time, he’s the one who leans in.)

  
  
  
  
  


They never get around to talking about it but she knows something has irrevocably changed if the way he sits closer to her on the piano bench, side pressed against her’s as he tells her about his newest composition, if the way she lets him crowd her against the wall and kiss her, is any indication.

 

“You look happier,” Jisoo mentions one day.

 

Jennie glances up, releasing the top of her pen from her mouth as she asks, “What do you mean?”

 

“You’re just … less obsessive about grades. More carefree,” Jisoo says. “I’m glad.”

 

She wrinkles her nose. “That’s so sappy.”

 

“ _You_ make me sappy,” Jisoo coos, throwing herself at Jennie ungracefully.

 

She rolls her eyes and pats Jisoo’s head. “Save that for your boyfriend.”

 

“Are we cuddling now?” Chaeyoung speaks up, amusement in her eyes as she enters the Room of Requirement. Lisa follows her shortly after, looking around the room with awe—Jennie almost forgot that Lisa wasn’t originally from here. It’s a cozy room—Jisoo’s idea, not her’s—with a wall full of books and a bunch of bean bags scattered on the floor.

 

“Can I join?” Lisa doesn’t even wait for a response though before she flops down on top of Jisoo. Jennie groans. She likes to think she isn’t _too_ out of shape but having two people on top of her makes it hard for her to breathe. That’s the least of her concerns though when suddenly, Jennie effectively has to support the weight of three people. It’s nice though, Jennie thinks drowsily, even if her leg is close to falling asleep and Jisoo’s elbow is dangerously close to her face.

  
  
  
  
  


The thought occurs to her when she’s with Jisoo, about to doze off under the shade of a tree in front of the Great Lake. She can practically _hear_ Jisoo shivering by her side while complaining about how cold it is but it’s not something that bothers Jennie. She feels too drained (physically, mentally) to care about the cold but she also fees oddly restless, a paradox that she is intimately familiar with.

 

_Shit_.

 

She sits up abruptly, causing Jisoo to yelp and tumble to the snow covered ground.

 

“Sorry!” Jennie says, suddenly wide awake and on the verge of panicking.

 

“Where are you going?” Jisoo asks as she slowly gets up.

 

“I forgot,” she racks her brain, desperately trying to find an alibi, “my gloves! I forgot to bring my gloves and I’m absolutely _freezing_. I’ll be back soon, alright?”

 

“Okay,” Jisoo yawns. “Come back soon though. And if you see Lisa or Chaeyoung, tell them to hurry up and come out here.”

 

Jennie nods, only half paying attention as she rushes towards the room. She curses at herself for letting her guard down; she’s not usually like this but things _changed_ and she was enjoying herself for once. It’ll be okay though, she thinks, she’ll just drink the potion really quickly and—

 

Chaeyoung spins around, eyes wide when Jennie opens the door a little too roughly. Time stops. She notices the way Chaeyoung’s hands are shaking, the open drawers of the dresser she shares with Jisoo, her exposed wolfsbane potion, tossed carelessly under a shirt. Jennie doesn’t usually keep it there but the last time she had taken the potion, she had been in a rush to get to Hogsmeade.

 

“J-Jisoo told me to get her jumper for her,” Chaeyoung stammers. “I was just looking for it, I swear…”

 

Silence stretches out between them. Jennie can feel her heart pounding; she’s not used to tense silences with Chaeyoung.

 

“You’re a werewolf?” Chaeyoung asks. It comes out more like a statement, like it’s a fact, not even up for debate but she’s saying it anyways just to confirm her suspicions. Jennie’s stomach drops at the touch of hope that still lingers in Chaeyoung’s voice, like the younger girl still has faith in her.

 

Like she hopes her friend isn’t some horrible, aggressive _monster_ who has no right to be a functioning individual in the wizarding or human world.

 

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Jennie requests in a small voice. Chaeyoung quickly nods, still wide eyed, _fear_ still coming off of her in waves. Jennie has never cried at her time here at Hogwarts so she’s startled by the dampness in her eyes and the tightening in her throat. “I’m still the same person,” she says earnestly. She is, she _swears_. Isn’t she?  

 

Chaeyoung nods again. Jennie hesitantly reaches out for Chaeyoung’s hand. But the worst part about doing so is that she can tell Chaeyoung is trying to act normal, by the way she's tensed up, as if willing herself not to move. But she flinches anyways and Jennie’s heart drops.

 

Jennie lets her hand fall limp by her side. Chaeyoung is still trembling and won’t look at her in the eye.

 

“I’m sorry.” Chaeyoung’s voice breaks. “I just—I need time to think.”

 

Even the brave still get scared; fear is not something that can easily be suppressed. Jennie _understands_ this but it doesn’t make it hurt any less when, from that point on, Chaeyoung cuts off all communication with her.


	3. if i have a dream (don't let it fall away)

_They had been arguing for hours._

 

_Jennie yawned, bringing her teddy bear closer as she shifted to make herself more comfortable in the car. Minutes passed. Jennie was starting to get cold; her mom had left the door open when she exited the car and it was a chilly night. She tried tuning out her parents’ hushed arguing and wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to warm up but it was futile._

 

_“Mom,” Jennie whined as she finally stumbled out the car. She adopted her most miserable expression when her parents turned to look at her. “I’m bored.”_

 

_Her mom sighed. “Not now, Jennie.”_

 

_“When can we go?”_

 

 _“When your_ father _,” and it didn’t escape Jennie’s notice at how venomously her mother said this, “figures out how to restart the car.”_

 

 _Jennie shrank a little when her dad glared at her mom. It had been her mom’s idea to take a trip to the United States but it had been her dad, who had always been fascinated with anything Muggle, who suggested to make it into a road trip. It seemed like a great idea at the time (mostly to her mom—Jennie tended to be more ambivalent) but Jennie had quickly learned that sitting in a car for hours at a time was really boring. That, and just because her dad was fascinated with muggles didn’t mean he actually_ knew _what was going on._

 

_Jennie stifled a yawn as her parents starting arguing again. Her attention drifted. Her mom had often told her not to wander off in that no nonsense tone of her’s but Jennie was bored and suddenly, wide awake from the breeze._

 

_(In retrospect, this proved to be a lethal combination.)_

 

 _They were in the middle of nowhere, Jennie reasoned, and she’d return before her parents noticed (_ if _they ever noticed, she thought, because they had been arguing more often than not these days)._

 

_“You’re always on my ass for the smallest things.” Her dad’s voice faded away as Jennie trudged off under the light of the full moon, with her teddy bear in tow, enchanted by the full, leafy trees that line both sides of the road._

 

Jennie stumbles into the living room of the Shrieking Shack, fighting down her nausea as she tosses her bag, tucked with extra supplies, to the side. Her vision is spotty and her head is spinning. She grips the counter, gritting her teeth as her vision blacks out momentarily.

 

 _They don’t meet her in the eyes anymore. Jennie had long been adjusted to her parents’ neglect as they traveled around the world hoping to save their crumbling marriage but at least she had been embraced with open arms, however reluctant, whenever they came back_.

 

_It’s like they don’t know what to do with her now. Jennie had always been spoiled; she was their only child, a miracle with her mom’s pregnancy issues and they had always told her such. They had huge plans for her, as if their legacy and happiness depended on her success—she’d take the world by storm, whether it was through becoming a high ranking official in the Ministry of Magic or being plastered across every magazine as an influencer making a difference._

 

_A detour into the woods changed her life._

 

_Jennie didn’t remember much, just a low rumble masked by the rustling of leaves before she was knocked onto her back. A heavy weight settling over her body. A searing pain in her shoulder as something dug into her arms, piercing through her clothes and flesh. Her own shriek, high pitched and strangled and then her dad’s voice, yelling a curse as her mom half dragged, half carried her away._

 

 _A silver and dittany mixture ensured that she lived but that wasn’t enough for her parents. They wanted her lycanthropy to be_ gone _and went out of their way to find a cure, even going as far to enlist the help of a Healer. Jennie hadn’t necessarily been against the idea—usually, she was compliant in doing anything her parents asked—but it had still felt a little weird, being used as a guinea pig in her parents’ experiment._

 

_Jennie bit back a whimper when Healer Yoona administered a shot, the contents of which Yoona had explained near the beginning of her visit. The explanation had long slipped Jennie’s mind but it didn’t matter in the end; she knew she didn’t have a choice in what was administered. Besides, she trusted Yoona and had been in awe of Yoona ever since their first meeting._

 

_”It hurts,” Jennie whimpered. She was used to drinking concoctions and getting shots but this was weird, was leaving an ache that quickly spread throughout her entire body, leaving her feeling numb._

 

_”I know,” Yoona said, reaching out to support Jennie’s head as she slowly grew more numb. Jennie involuntarily leaned into Yoona’s touch, eyes fluttering shut. “You’re so brave. Just hang on, Jennie. Things will be alright in the end.”_

 

_Perhaps that was why Jennie had liked Yoona so much. Because even though none of her ideas seemed to have a lasting effect on her lycanthropy, her words comforted Jennie beyond belief. In the fog that had settled over Jennie’s vision once she had been bitten, Yoona acted like a beacon of light, allowing Jennie to hope for the ability to see starry skies again once day._

 

When Jennie opens her eyes, all she sees is the splintering, dusty roof of the Shrieking Shack. Her head is pounding and every inch of her body aches—this is why she’s usually so good about taking the potion. She had been so distraught though after Chaeyoung had fled the room that she forgot to take it and missing one day meant that it was rendered ineffective. Missing a day means losing any humanity left in her during her transformation and the aftermath—the scratches on her arms, bruises on her thighs, her dry throat—is always the worst.

 

Memories of her recent encounters—or lack thereof—with Chaeyoung flood her mind and she whimpers, drawing her knees close to her chest. Her body feels weighed down and just this once, she’ll let herself drown in self pity.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Another day trickles by with Jennie curled up in the Shrieking Shack before she decides to head back. Her mind is clouded and she feels oddly detached from her actions. It’s lunch time so everybody should be in the Great Hall eating and Jennie will be able to sneak back relatively unnoticed.

 

She exhales in relief as she opens the door to her dorm, then yelps. Jisoo and Lisa jump up from Jennie’s bed and Lisa immediately runs up to hug Jennie, who remains stiff in Lisa’s embrace.

 

“Where were you?” Lisa demands as Jennie awkwardly disentangles herself. “We were so worried.”

 

“Just out,” Jennie says, then winces at how raspy her voice is.

 

“Just _out_?” Lisa repeats incredulously. “Do you know how worried we were? We searched the entirety of Hogwarts for you and I—I even went to all the ghosts and portraits to ask if they saw you and we still couldn’t find you.”

 

Jennie bristles. “How is this any different from all the times _you’ve_ disappeared from us carrying out some dumb prank? Well sorry, I’ll make sure to report my every move to you in the future.”

 

Lisa recoils, eyes going wide as Jennie passes Lisa to open her drawer with more force than necessary. Jisoo steps in front of Lisa protectively, eyes narrowing.

 

“We were just worried,” Jisoo says levelly despite her voice turning cold. “You’re not usually—you were _gone_ for whole two days and we couldn’t get a hold of you. Chaeyoung didn’t know where you were either.”

 

Jennie flinches at Chaeyoung’s name. “Well, I’m here now,” Jennie says briskly and turns to face them with a change of clothes in hand. She starts to make her way out but Jisoo blocks her.

 

“That’s _it_?” Jisoo narrows her eyes. “Why are you acting like this?”

 

“Acting like _what_? Like I’m annoyed because apparently, I can’t go a day without seeing you guys before you start integrating me? I have a life outside of you guys, you know and you’re not entitled to hear about every aspect of my day.” Irritation clouds Jennie’s mind as she continues with a lie Pomfrey told her to tell if any student was suspicious of her disappearances, “I was out helping a professor tend to magical creatures. That’s fucking it. Anything else?”

 

Lisa’s frozen in place, looking like a deer in headlights. Jisoo has her arms crossed, nails digging in her arms as she takes a deep breath. Jennie refuses to back down when Jisoo analyzes Jennie’s face. “Not while you’re being a bitch,” Jisoo says slowly.

 

“I didn’t know wanting my privacy suddenly means that _I’m_ the bad guy.”

 

“No, but snapping back at your friends and dismissing them when they’ve only ever cared about your wellbeing does.” Jisoo grasps Lisa’s hand. “Don’t worry, we’ll leave you alone from now on, Jennie.”

 

The door slams behind them and Jennie’s never felt more alone. Her annoyance slowly melts into guilt but Jennie tries to stifle it. It’s better this way, she thinks, that they’re angry with her now. Because then she won’t have to worry as much about them finding out about her lycanthropy and won’t have to worry about their reactions if they did find out.

 

(Only, there’s a familiar dampness to her eyes when she spots the bread and cookies that have been neatly wrapped in tissues and placed next to her pillows.

 

 _It’s better this way,_ she reminds herself again.)

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s awkward in the dorm after that. Jennie doesn’t see Chaeyoung much since they’re in different years and therefore, live on different floors; besides, Chaeyoung has always been consistent in sleeping relatively early and waking up early. Still, she shares a room and a similar sleeping schedule with Jisoo—and Jisoo refuses to acknowledge her these days. Lisa tries acting normally around Jennie a few times—mostly whenever she sees Jennie out in the hallway between classes—but had slowly stopped after Jennie brushed her off the first, second and all the consequent times. Chaeyoung doesn’t necessarily avoid her; but she’s stiff and moves to the far side of the room, keeping as much space as between them as possible.

 

(And Jennie doesn’t even want to _think_ about Yoongi right now; she’s stopped sneaking out to meet him entirely.)

 

Jennie can’t focus these days. She finds herself not being very hungry either—she’s lost all semblance of an appetite—and it’s probably one of the many reasons why she’s been sleeping badly too.

 

_Be careful around a Venomous Tentacula; it will try to grab and bite any living creature._

 

Jennie groans and massages her temples. She’s been reading this passage for hours now and hasn’t made any real progress; she’s not really processing anything she reads.

 

_Be careful around a Venomous Tentacula . . ._

 

Her parchment is still infuriatingly blank. Jennie grimaces when she sets her quill down roughly and the ink splatters onto the table and leaks onto her parchment. She groans and reaches for her wand.

 

“ _Tergeo_ ,” she murmurs, watching as her wand siphons the ink until her parchment and the table is clean. Jennie caps her ink bottle and starts to clean up. She doubts she’s going to make anymore progress and she thinks the library is closing soon; she doesn’t want the librarian to yell at her.

 

As she heads out, she frowns when she notices familiar figures talking in one of the aisles.

 

“Werewolves? I thought we already learned about them in Defense Against the Dark Arts,” Jimin says, a curious look in his eyes. He’s leaning against the shelves, hands in his pockets, and facing Jennie’s direction but hasn’t noticed her yet.

 

Chaeyoung shrugs dismissively though Jennie can see the tense set to her shoulders. “I’m just refreshing my memory,” Chaeyoung replies as she pulls a book out and scans the cover. Jennie flinches and hides when Chaeyoung glances at Jimin; if Chaeyoung turned her head just a bit more, she would have seen Jennie. “Why are you here again?”

 

“Gracing you with my company, of course . . .”

 

Jennie lowers her head and ignores the way her stomach turns with unease as she hurries away.

  
  
  
  
  
  


She runs into Yoongi one day—or rather, Yoongi and the entire Slytherin Quidditch team as they head back after practice. She adjusts the strap of her bag and resolutely stares forwards, even as Yoongi’s conversation with Jimin trails off and his eyes lingers on her.

 

He’s fallen behind, near the back of the group now and she flinches when she accidentally meets his gaze. Still, she’s relatively confident that he won’t confront her; there are too many people around them and she’s probably pushed him away like how she did with Jisoo, Lisa and Chaeyoung.

 

But then.

 

“Jennie, can we talk?”

 

She stops when his hand touches her shoulder even as she automatically responds, “No.”

 

He takes a step closer. She takes a step back to dislodge his hand. The Quidditch team is several feet ahead but she’s filled with dread when Sooyoung glances back curiously. “I’m fine with talking about everything right here, right now,” he says mildly.

 

Alarms are going off in her head. “I have class,” she says uneasily, looking to the side. It’s not a lie but truthfully, Jennie could care less about going to class now.

 

Yoongi studies her wordlessly and Jennie gets the feeling that he can see right through her excuses. But he eventually relents. “Later then?”

 

“Yeah,” Jennie confirms half-heartedly.

 

(There isn’t a later. Jennie makes sure of that.)

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Give me a moment, dear,” Madam Pomfrey practically yells from the back of the Hospital Wing the moment Jennie steps into the room. It’s not as empty this time; there are two students lying in adjacent beds with the curtains drawn between them. They’re both sleeping but one of them is sleeping fitfully, breathing erratically from their swollen face.

 

She steps to the side and averts her gaze to the window. It’s oddly peaceful. Jennie is reminded of the first few times she had come here, bright eyed and hopeful. She cringes as another unwanted memory pops up—of her asking if she could help Madam Pomfrey around the Hospital Wing.

 

“Jennie,” Madam Pomfrey had interrupted her rambling. There was a gentle look in her eyes and a sinking feeling in Jennie’s chest. “I’m sure you would be helpful. But I can manage by myself and . . . well, don’t you think that perhaps, this profession isn’t the best for someone like you?”

 

Jennie had nodded and left, cheeks burning and chest tight but there had still been some hope that lingered.

Now, Jennie wonders if Madam Pomfrey had been right all along. Instead of squashing her hope when she had the chance, she had fostered it, let it grow as she aced subject after subject relevant to becoming a Healer. But when Chaeyoung had found out about Jennie being a werewolf a few weeks ago, she had only confirmed what Jennie suspected but had never had the heart to truly believe—that there was no place in the wizarding world for a werewolf like her.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jennie stares dully at the crystal ball placed in the center of the round table. The only thing she sees is a opaque, white fog but she can’t be bothered to stare any deeper when she’s so acutely aware of Jisoo’s presence. Crystal-gazing has never been her forte anyways; the only type of divination she’s remotely good at is tessomancy. It’s the first time the Ravenclaw has sat at Jennie’s table for a while—after their fight, Jisoo moved to a different table. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Jisoo stare at the crystal ball, sigh, then look at the accompanying chapter in their textbook. Jennie flips open her own textbook. Flinches when she gets a papercut and a bead of blood appears. She hastily looks for a tissue in her bag and wipes off the blood with shaky hands. It’s like suddenly, all the restless nights and skipped meals are catching up with her and Jennie feels resoundingly empty as she scans the list of images the textbook claims will show up in the crystal ball.

 

She doesn’t even realize she’s crying until the words are blurring before her eyes and there’s a damp spot on her textbook.

 

It’s humiliating and she can feel Jisoo’s gaze on her again as she shoves everything in her bag roughly. She leaves despite Trelawney yelling omens after her (“You’ll die if you leave this room! I warned you.”) and heads straight for the Ravenclaw Tower to her room.

 

Maybe it’s time to tell her parents that they’re right, she thinks miserably as she climbs into bed and pulls her knees to her chest, that she can’t handle Hogwarts. Can’t handle any sort of education after all, and will move back in to her family’s house after the end of this year. Because, what’s the point of getting an education if she can’t apply her knowledge after college? Werewolves have never been accepted, not even in the way house-elves had after the war. She had been foolish to think she could pursue something in the Muggle world and even more so to think she could make it in the Wizarding world, as a Healer, no less.

 

She startles, barely catching herself from tumbling over, when the bed dips besides her.

 

“Are you okay?” Jisoo asks.

 

“Yeah,” Jennie stubbornly answers, even as she accepts the tissue Jisoo hands her to wipe away her tears. “I will be,” she amends.

 

Jisoo nods, even though Jennie knows Jisoo doesn’t believe her, and looks away. It’d be silent if it weren’t for Jennie’s sniffling but she can’t stop her tears. It’s a strange sensation—Jennie hadn’t even cried when she got bitten and instead had chosen to grit her teeth and bear the pain silently when she saw how devastated her parents were.

 

She sneaks a glance at Jisoo, who’s still perched on Jennie’s bed and is staring absently at the opposing wall. A few more seconds pass as Jennie gathers her courage and swallows her pride. “I’m sorry,” she says. Jisoo glances over. “I’m so sorry,” she repeats, this time with more conviction. “I know you and Lisa were just trying to help me and I shouldn’t have acted like that. I just—I fucked up.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I mean—yeah with you guys too. But I also messed things up with Chaeyoung. It seems like all I ever do is fuck up.” Jennie finally looks up from the ground, hugging her legs tighter to her chest. Jisoo looks confused. “Jisoo, I’m . . .” It feels unnecessarily dramatic announcing it like this but Jennie can’t stop her stomach from turning anyways. She’s never willingly told anyone that she’s a werewolf; everyone who knew—the Headmistress, Madam Pomfrey, Yoona—all knew because her parents told them. Fear makes her hesitate. But if she can’t tell Jisoo, then who else could she tell it too? “Chaeyoung found my Wolfsbane potion a while ago and she freaked out. I’m a werewolf, Jisoo, and the reason why I didn’t come back those two days was because I messed up and had a bad transformation. I . . . I understand if you need time to process this but—”

 

“Jennie,” Jisoo says gently, “I know.”

 

“—I swear I’d never hurt anyone on purpose. _”_ Jennie freezes. _What?_

 

“We’ve been rooming together for six years,” Jisoo says when she notices Jennie’s shock. “I’d be pretty dense if I didn’t figure it out _eventually_ , right?”

 

“How long have you known?”

 

“Two . . . no, three full moons ago? It’s your secret and I wanted you to reveal it on your own time, if you wanted to reveal it at all, not because I forced you to.”

 

Disbelief courses throughout her; Jennie thought she had been so careful. “And you . . . you’re still fine with rooming with me?”

 

“If I wasn’t, then I would have moved out the moment I realized you were a werewolf,” Jisoo points out. “I know being a werewolf is a secret you’ve been keeping, like it’s integral to your identity or something. But to me, you’re still going to be, well, _you_. You’re a werewolf, yes, but more importantly, you’re a Ravenclaw who has a crazy work ethic, who has never been afraid to tell people off to defend your friends. You’re kind of cold to others but you’re loyal to your friends and look, I’m not trying to diminish how important being a werewolf is to you, but it’s not something I’d ever judge you for.”

 

“I . . . thanks?”

 

Jennie blushes when Jisoo giggles and says, “You’re welcome.”

 

“I’ve never told this anyone before willingly,” Jennie says, “and the one other person who did find out didn’t really react well.” There’s an odd feeling that makes her heart swell—something between disbelief and happiness. She feels herself tearing up again and preemptively wipes at her eyes roughly. “That means a lot to me, that you think this way.”

 

“You’re my friend, Jennie, and I just want you to be happy. And I understand if you ever need space, but I hope you won’t push me, or anyone else, away when we try to help.”

 

Jennie plays with her fingers guiltily. “I’ll change,” she says as Jisoo hugs her.

 

And that much she can promise.

  
  
  
  
  
  


When Jennie finally catches up to them, Taehyung’s watching her with a neutral expression while Jungkook looks more openly hostile. They’re both suspiciously wet—Jennie glances outside but it’s not raining, to her confusion—and are toweling themselves dry while leaving a trail of water. Taehyung sneezes.

 

“I really need to find Lisa,” Jennie says quickly before they dismiss her.

 

Taehyung just shrugs and glances at Jungkook, whose expression doesn’t change. “We have to go dry off,” Jungkook says snarkily.

 

Jennie pursues her lips and waves her wand, casting a Hot-Air charm on the two of them, much to their surprise. “You’re dry now,” she says.

 

“Why do you need to find her?” Taehyung asks as he inspects his clothing for any lingering dampness.

 

“To apologize for something I did.”

 

The two Gryffindors exchange glances again. Jennie holds her breath and waits patiently as they have what seems like a silent conversation with their eyes and eyebrows. It looks a little ridiculous, if Jennie’s being completely honest, from an outsider’s perspective.

 

“Near the Great Lake,” Jungkook finally says.

 

Jennie exhales. “Thank you.”

 

“Don’t,” Jungkook hastily begins when Jennie starts walking away. “Don’t hurt her again,” he mumbles out, unable to meet her eyes.

 

Jennie softens. “I won’t.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


True to Jungkook’s word, Jennie finds Lisa sitting near the edge of the Great Lake. Lisa is staring absently into the lake as she rips up the grass around her.

 

“Hey, Lisa,” Jennie says cautiously.

 

Lisa turns around so quickly Jennie is scared she’ll get whiplash. “Jennie!” Lisa says brightly, then immediately deflates as if she remembers she’s supposed to be mad at Jennie or something. “Jennie.”

 

Jennie clears her throat awkwardly and takes a seat next to Lisa. “What are you doing out here?”

 

Lisa shrugs. “Making friends with the Giant Squid.”

 

Jennie blinks. “With the Giant Squid?” she repeats slowly.

 

“We brought toast for it,” Lisa begins and Jennie slowly connects the dots, “but the Giant Squid wasn’t coming out even though I’ve heard from other students that he accepts food. Then Jungkook said that maybe the Giant Squid might have been gone from the lake but Taehyung called him stupid so they jumped in to check.” Lisa flushes when she realizes she’s been rambling and continues with her voice even quieter. “The squid never came up so now I just have a bunch of bread.”

 

Jennie stares some more; she honestly doesn’t even know what to say to that. Lisa picks up on Jennie’s hesitance and glances back at the lake.

 

“I know we haven’t known each other for that long but sometimes it feels like I’ve known you since forever,” Lisa says, uncharacteristically quiet. “And I know that I can come off a little too strong so I’m sorry—”

 

“No,” Jennie hastily interrupts, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I was dealing with a lot of stuff and I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you, especially when you were just worried for me.”

 

“What stuff?” Lisa ventures cautiously.

 

Jennie bites her lip. “I-I’m a werewolf.”

 

“A werewolf. Like you transform during the full moon into a wolf?”

 

Jennie slowly nods.

 

“Oh,” Lisa says. She suddenly turns around and digs through her bag. It’s overflowing with crumpled papers and food and Jennie can’t help but feel cautiously hopeful. “This is for you.”

 

Jennie stares at the half eaten chocolate bar Lisa had dumped on her lap. “Thanks?”

 

Lisa is staring at her, reminiscent of a puppy as she grows shy and fumbles over her words. “Werewolves like chocolate, right? Or did I get that wrong? When I was at Mahoutokoro, they didn’t really teach us about werewolves. I mean, they did, but I sort of zoned out.”

 

Jennie laughs softly. “I don’t know if I can speak for all werewolves, but I like chocolate,” she says. Lisa visibly relaxes and when she offers Jennie a tentative smile, Jennie knows they’re going to be okay.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I think you’re insane.”

 

“Well, I think you’re just as excited to see this as I am,” Jennie retorts, pointedly looking at the astronomy textbook tucked under Jisoo’s arm. Jisoo flushes. “Besides, you were the one who asked Taehyung how to break in.” The astronomy tower is usually off limits to students outside of Astronomy lessons but apparently, that never deterred Taehyung—or Jungkook or Lisa, for that matter—from sneaking up there on cloudless nights.

 

Jisoo gives up her pretense as they climb up the last flight of stairs and enter the observation tower. “I heard you can see Sirius really well in January. Or was it February?”

 

Jennie shrugs. She’s busy setting up her telescope near the railing; without the use of an Undetectable Extension Charm, it had been a pain to bring up.  

 

“I think there’s a full moon later this month too,” Jisoo rambles. She nearly runs into Jennie with her head buried deep in her astronomy textbook but thankfully looks up at the last second. “Do you think I’d be good at astrology?”

 

“Probably. Didn’t we have a unit on astrology in Divination before?”

 

Jisoo blinks. “Did we?”

 

“I think so,” Jennie replies absently. She’s not really sure what she’s supposed to be looking for through the telescope. It’s mostly darkness, with a few glittering, faraway stars and to be honest, Jennie thinks that looking at the sky with just her vision alone is breathtaking enough. She steps back, letting Jisoo have a chance at looking through the telescope. “Is Lisa still coming?”

 

“Yeah. She said she’d be late since she needs to finish her Care of Magical Creatures homework.”

 

Jennie nods. Shifts her weight to her other foot nervously, then asks, “And Chaeyoung?”

 

The look on Jisoo’s face reveals her answer--there’s a guilty look in her eyes and she has her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “She said she was busy,” Jisoo says softly.

 

Jennie swallows her disappointment. “Right.”

 

“Really though! She’s taking so many classes too and I heard History of Magic has been really hard this year. And she has to do that Care of Magical Creatures homework too—”

 

“I believe you,” Jennie interrupts. And truly, she does, but it doesn’t mean that Chaeyoung doesn’t have an ulterior motive for not coming, doesn’t mean that she’s still scared of werewolves. Or Jennie. She’s not sure which one would be worse.

 

Jisoo abandons the telescope to crouch down next to Jennie. “She’ll come around,” Jisoo says with a confidence that Jennie doesn’t quite share. “You know her. Her family is pretty conservative and old fashioned with their views on a lot of things, but Chaeyoung has always been more open minded. It might take some time, but she knows how you’re like and she’ll come to learn how all those nasty stereotypes don’t define you.”

 

Jennie nods mutely. Looks up when Jisoo nudges her arm.

 

“Look, tea leaves don’t lie and _I_ certainly don’t,” Jisoo says and grins triumphantly when Jennie finally cracks a smile. She stands up and extends a hand to Jennie. “Now, help me find Sirius or I’ll owe Lisa a Galleon.”

 

“Well, we can’t have that, can we? Lisa has already won too many bets.” Jennie laughs as Jisoo tugs a little too hard and sends them both stumbling.

 

(After her parents had turned their backs on her when Jennie was younger, she thought the only person she could confide in was Yoona. And Yoona will always have a special place in her heart, especially for sparking her interest in becoming a Healer, but Jennie has never been more happy to be proven wrong.)


	4. though your beginnings may be humble, may the ending be prosperous

Jennie spots them first; for a brief moment, as she turns the corner, she wonders if she should take a different route. Then Lisa noticeably lights up, waving, and Jennie feels obligated to stay. 

 

“Where are you going?” Lisa asks, blissfully unaware of Chaeyoung avoiding Jennie’s eyes.

 

Jennie forces herself to smile at Lisa; Jennie already feels bad enough that she’s essentially split up their friend group so she’s determined to act normal. “The greenhouse,” she replies. “I’m going to see if there’s anything I can do to make up for this Herbology assignment I didn’t do well on.”

 

Lisa winces. “Herbology sucks,” she sympathizes and Jennie squashes the urge to point out that Lisa thinks any subject that isn’t related to Quidditch or, interestingly enough, Care of Magical Creatures sucks. “Good luck!”

 

“Thanks,” Jennie says. “I’ll see you guys later.” She only manages to walk a few steps away before Lisa’s voice rings out again, clear in the empty hallway.

 

“Hey, are you coming to Hogsmeade? Chaeyoung and I are but Jisoo might ditch us to be gross with Taehyung.”

 

Jennie avoids Lisa’s hopeful look—Lisa probably thinks she’s being subtle trying to push Chaeyoung and Jennie together—and sneaks a glance at Chaeyoung instead. Chaeyoung’s gaze is carefully neutral even as she fiddles with her robe. “Probably not,” Jennie eventually responds. Lisa pouts, but thankfully doesn’t push any further. Jennie is still looking at Chaeyoung when she continues, “I don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to go anyways.”

 

Chaeyoung looks like she wants to say something but the words are caught in her throat.

 

A moment passes.

 

“I should get going now,” Jennie says softly. Tries to be understanding as possible to assuage the guilt-ridden look Chaeyoung’s sporting. And truthfully, it’s coming easier to her now. It’s a work in progress, but Jennie is starting to learn that there are some battles she just can’t push.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The coffee in her thermos has gone cold by the time Jennie is heading out of the Divination classroom and all the way down to the dungeons to the Potions classroom. Honestly, she’s still a little unsettled by the encounter she just had with Trawnley. Since Trawnley is such a fickle grader, Jennie had gone to apologize for running out of class but it seems like it wasn’t necessary; the professor was more focused on the death and doom she predicted from her crystal ball than Jennie. She grimaces after taking a sip of her coffee; it’s cold  _ and _ more bitter than she remembers it being and she tries her best to scrape the taste off her tongue with her teeth. Her eyelids feel heavy. It seems like all the sleepless nights she spends with a renewed vigor on her classes is slowly taking a toll. The added weight of the book she’s carrying,  _ Advanced Potion-Making _ , doesn’t help with lessening her fatigue either. She doesn’t even register that someone is calling her name until they loop their arm with her’s and fall in step with her.

 

“Want to do me a favor?” Lisa asks, already turning Jennie around.

 

Jennie doesn’t even bother putting up a fight, already too familiar with the determined look in Lisa’s eyes. “What do you want?”

 

“I was trying to find the trophy room but I got lost.”

 

“Well, you’re in luck,” Jennie tells Lisa as she turns them back around in the correct direction. “It’s right up here. Why do you want to go there anyways?”

 

“It’s . . . kind of my fault that Taehyung is in detention right now,” Lisa says sheepishly. “I was thinking of maybe going there and helping him out.”

 

“You’ll get in trouble if you get caught,” Jennie warns.

 

“Don’t worry, I  _ never _ get caught,” Lisa replies brightly.

 

Jennie arches an eyebrow but chooses to stay silent, even though she knows for a fact that Lisa is  _ very _ wrong. She lingers near the entrance as Lisa pokes her head in.

 

“Taehyung! Yoongi!”

 

Jennie freezes when she hears Lisa call out Yoongi’s name; her mind is screaming at her to run but her body remains frustratingly still. Before she can make a decision, Yoongi steps out of the Trophy Room and she finds herself scanning him. He looks the same—of course he would, she scolds herself, it’s only been a few weeks since she last saw him—but his hair is a washed out pink color. 

 

It looks good on him, she thinks absently and finally looks away, cheeks burning, when he catches her staring.  

 

“Lisa,” he greets back, distracted. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Wow, your hair—” Lisa starts to say instead before Taehyung steps out of the Trophy Room, flinches at the glare Yoongi levels on him, and points an accusing finger at Lisa.

 

“ _ You _ ,” Taehyung says dramatically as he puts some distance between him and Yoongi. “It’s all your fault.”

 

Lisa blushes. “I didn’t mean to get the charms wrong. Besides, wouldn’t it have been worse if you actually casted a Growth Charm instead of a Color Change Charm?”

 

Yoongi’s glare intensifies as he whirls around to face Taehyung. “You were going to use a Growth Charm on my  _ head _ ?”

 

“I think he was aiming for your hair,” Lisa defends Taehyung feebly.

 

“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees unconvincingly. Lisa stares at Taehyung, who just shrugs.

 

“Look, I’ll help you guys with whatever you need to do since I feel kind of bad.” Lisa easily catches the rag Taehyung suddenly tosses at her. She tilts her head. “What’s this?”

 

“We’re polishing all the trophies without magic,” Taehyung says.

 

Lisa’s eyes widen in horror and she instantly throws the rag back. “Wait, actually, I don’t feel  _ that _ bad—” 

 

“It’s too late,” Taehyung says smugly as he loops his arm around Lisa’s shoulders and starts to drag her into the room. “You already agreed to help.”

 

Jennie shifts uncomfortably when it’s just her and Yoongi and he deliberately steps in front of her. “We never got to talk,” he says.

 

“I didn’t think we had anything to talk about,” she responds. Just for something to do, she takes another sip of her coffee and winces at the taste again. It’s strange, she muses, how well she knows him. She knows his favorite color (white), his favorite sport (a toss up between Quidditch and surprisingly, a Muggle sport called basketball) and even his favorite piano chord progression (vi, iii, then IV). She knows how his lips will always curve down when he’s focusing really hard, how he’ll melt into her touch when she runs her hand along his jaw, how his hands fit around the curve of her waist so well.  

 

But standing in front of him right now, during the day, casts him in a new light and she almost feels like she’s standing in front of a stranger.

 

He cuts to the chase. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

 

“I . . .”  _ haven’t _ , is her first thought. “I have,” she ends up admitting. “I had a falling out with one of my friends and I dealt with it badly.”

 

Yoongi flinches. “I’m sorry,” he says but before tenses up at the sound of footsteps before he can say more. 

 

“It is what it is.” Jennie tries to change the subject. “What are you in here for?”

 

“Hooch caught me and Taehyung fighting,” he says, referencing the Flying instructor. Her eyes widen and he quickly amends, “We weren’t actually  _ fighting _ but Taehyung turned my hair pink and I might have jinxed him and it got out of control.” He shakes his head, as if to dispel the memory and takes a step back with a grimace.  His eyes land the textbook Jennie’s holding. “Are you studying again?”

 

Jennie thinks back to her apology to Trawnley, shivering. “No. I was going to head down to the dungeons since the Potion Master gave me permission to try brewing some potions we weren’t going to cover.”

 

His lips quirk. “Aiming to become a Healer again?”

 

He’s teasing her, she knows, especially since she’s expressed her intent to go off to a non-magical university after graduating multiple times. And Jennie is relieved to see he isn’t too mad at her despite her sudden disappearance—maybe those unspoken rules she had weren’t all exclusive to her. The conversation is already playing out in her head: she’ll shrug, make some self deprecating remark and change the subject, all while keeping her aspirations close to her heart.

 

Except— 

 

Jennie has never wanted anything as much as she wants to become a Healer; she truly believes it’s one of the most rewarding ways to make a change in people’s lives, like how Yoona did with her. 

 

Except— 

 

Even when Jennie was deluding herself, telling herself that she’ll aim for something lower, her actions—including all the classes she took and spent so much time on—all contradict her words. She has never aimed for anything less than the moon and deep within, she’s not sure if she’d ever be content with landing among the stars. 

 

A fear of being shunned once people learned of her lycanthropy has always dominated her life. But life went on even when people  _ were _ scared of her once they found out and through it all, she remained a werewolf. Life went on even when people supported her—and still, she was a werewolf. Jennie had always been hopeful for the future, believing that it’d get better with time, but she wonders how she’ll ever reach that point if the one constant in her life keeps deterring her from pursuing what she wants. 

 

“Actually, yes.” Yoongi looks confused but Jennie has never been more sure of herself. “Yeah, I’m studying to become a Healer.” And suddenly, she’s overflowing, having suppressed her hopes and dreams for too long, and words tumble out like water, “I think I was wrong before when I said I couldn’t become one. I’m  _ more _ than capable enough, if given the chance. I was just too scared.”

 

There’s a wistful look in Yoongi’s eyes now.

 

She continues hesitantly, “And I know you think that doing anything with music is out of the question for you, but I really do think you could do it.”

 

At this, his expression shuts down. “And have my parents disown me?”

 

“Why won’t you put your own happiness before their’s?”

 

“You don't  _ understand _ —”

 

“You’re right, I don’t. Because even though the odds have been stacked against me from the start, even though my parents stopped supporting me and I know I’ll have a damn hard time before I become a Healer, it was something I couldn’t quite give up. I don’t  _ understand. _ If you have the opportunity to do something you love and succeed in it, why don’t you do it? I’d die for the opportunities you have.”

 

“ _ What _ opportunities?” Yoongi snaps. “I don’t have any other path than Quidditch or a position in the Ministry of Magic.”

 

“That’s bullshit and we both know it. You’re  _ good _ at music. You could make it as a producer in whatever world you choose if you weren’t so scared of your parents. Werewolves are shunned in any world.”

 

She’s out of breath and finally notices how they’re standing so close that she can make out the dimension in his eyes, the scar that mars his temple, barely missing his eyebrow. And as the adrenaline fades, as the silence extends and she realizes that he’s just  _ staring _ at her, eyes widened, she realizes what she let slip.

 

(Inside the Trophy Room, Lisa panics when she catches the sound of Jennie saying something that vaguely sounds like “werewolf”. Taehyung, who had been cleaning a display close to the door, has his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he strains to eavesdrop. Lisa reaches for her wand and acts on impulse.

 

“What the  _ hell _ ,” he yells, successfully distracted, when he feels his scalp tingling.)

 

“You’re a werewolf?” Yoongi repeats, words dripping in disbelief.

 

She should run away, frustrated at her lack of filter. But she’s so  _ tired _ of running and there’s something burning within her that she’s never felt before. Being a Ravenclaw and being brave aren’t mutually exclusive, she’s starting to realize, and even if she’s let her lack of confidence overtake some of her decisions, that doesn’t mean she has to always stay stagnant.

 

“I’m a werewolf,” she confirms, even as her voice wavers. She digs her nails into her palms and stands her ground to meet his eyes. “And I  _ am _ going to become a Healer.”

 

There’s something unreadable in his eyes as he analyzes her. He doesn’t step away. A long moment passes—and Jennie isn’t even scared anymore. Because whether he reacts in disgust or acceptance doesn’t change the fact that she’s a werewolf, that there’s no cure as of right now and she’s going to make the best of her situation. 

 

Then, anything mysterious about his demeanor has disappeared as he pieces everything together. He noticeably lights up and says, “That’s amazing.  _ You’re _ amazing.” 

 

Awe, Jennie finally realizes, is what lingers in Yoongi’s gaze.

 

She can’t help the heat that rises to her cheeks or the way she fails to hold back her smile as she tucks her hair behind her ear. “I try.”

 

“Do you . . . do you really think you’re going to make it?” As soon as he finishes talking, he cringes, as if he knows how bad it sounds. But she understands his intent and she gets his hesitation.

 

Jennie knows she might not make it. But she also knows, and finally acknowledges the chance that she  _ could _ succeed as a Healer but she’ll never know unless she tries—and that’s the most important part, isn’t it? Taking that leap of faith, letting herself freefall with the knowledge that she’s prepared herself to the best of her abilities. She tells him such. Tells him, that in a couple of years, she’ll come find him and he’ll get to see for himself if she’s made it.

 

And he tells her this: that there’s no need to tell him later on because he believes she’ll  _ will _ succeed but he hopes their paths will cross in the future regardless.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


(Jennie eventually leaves to go to the Potions classroom and Yoongi goes back into the Trophy Room—except, trophies and the glass cases are covered in what seems like goo. Lisa’s blonde hair is now orange and Taehyung stands out equally as much with his bright red hair.

 

They’re staring at him with wide eyes and for a moment, there’s complete silence as Yoongi processes the situation. Then—

 

“It was her fault, Yoongi. I swear I’m innocent—”

 

“Taehyung stole my wand! Make him give it back—”)

  
  
  
  
  
  


“So I was right,” Lisa says smugly the next night over dinner. Besides her, Jungkook, who Lisa had quite literally dragged to the table and look considerably more out of place among the Ravenclaws, is busy reaching for seconds but Jennie has a feeling he’s more attentive than he’s acting. “There’s something between you two that you’re just not telling me about.”

 

Jennie sighs, feigning nonchalance as she reaches out for a napkin. “I know Yoongi about as well as you do,” she tells Lisa. She’s definitely not going to tell Lisa how although Jennie’s intimately familiar with the feeling of Yoongi’s lips against her’s, somehow, him holding her hand earlier today seemed infinitely more intimate.

 

“ _ Sure _ ,” Lisa drawls, “and I’m just hooking up with Jungkook.”

 

Jungkook suddenly starts choking.

 

Jennie hides her laughter behind a hand when Lisa gives him a weird look. “You okay?” Lisa asks, reaching over to pat his back. Jungkook nods vigorously despite his reddening face.

 

“I have to go,” he manages to say between coughs. Despite just having grabbed more food, he leaves quickly, head bowed and face red.

 

“He’s been acting strange,” Lisa says. Her head is tilted, a thoughtful look in her eyes, and she turns back to her meal only when he’s disappeared from her vision. “Hasn’t he?”

 

Jennie shrugs as she takes a sip of water. “I think he has a crush on someone.”

 

Lisa’s mouth drops. “Really?” Lisa has always been an open book and Jennie’s able to easily identify the flash of jealousy that crosses her face before it’s replaced by her signature mischievous look. “Tell me who she is,” Lisa begs. Then, at Jennie’s silence, says, “Who he is?”

 

Jennie shrugs again. “You should just ask him,” she tells Lisa. “You know he’ll tell you everything if you just ask.”

 

It’s clear to practically everybody that Jungkook likes Lisa; it’s hard not to notice when Gryffindor’s confident golden boy suddenly becomes a mess when she walks into the room. And Jennie thinks Lisa likes him too—only, Lisa’s sort of dense.  _ I’m only giving these to him because I feel bad he’s in detention because of me, _ Lisa had claimed, pretending as if she didn’t know about Jungkook’s massive collection of chocolate frog cards, when Jennie caught her with a box of chocolate frogs in hand. They’d be cute together, Jennie thinks, and really, she’s doing Jungkook a favor.

 

Lisa nods, dinner forgotten as she gathers her stuff. “I’ll report back to you,” Lisa tells Jennie. She salutes Jennie with a playful smile before dashing off.

 

Jennie watches her go with a fond smile before getting ready to go herself. There aren’t as many people around in the Great Hall since they had come in near the tail end of dinner time so she’s surprised when she sees Jisoo walk in, Chaeyoung in tow.

 

“Hey Jennie,” Jisoo greets casually as they cross paths. “Do you happen to know what happened to Taehyung’s hair?”

 

Jennie shakes her head. “Did he cut it?”

 

“It’s, like, Gryffindor red but he won’t talk about it. Honestly, I think he likes it way more than he says he does,” Jisoo says. She tilts her head. “Maybe  _ I _ should dye my hair blue to show House spirit.”

 

“A dark blue could look pretty on you,” Chaeyoung speaks up, reaching out to inspect the ends of Jisoo’s hair.

 

Jennie blinks. She’s even more confused when Chaeyoung offers her a tentative smile.

 

“You’re supposed to talk me out of my dumb ideas,” Jisoo complains, swatting Chaeyoung’s hand away in fake irritation. She glances at Jennie. “I’m guessing you’re already full?”

 

“Yeah,” Jennie says. “You guys should go eat quickly before they stop serving dinner.”

 

“Will do! We’ll see you later,” Jisoo says.

 

Jennie watches them leave for a moment, head still reeling. She can’t help the hope that sprouts up; it seems like harboring hope is a common theme for her—apparently, she doesn’t quite know when to let things go. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I’ve had this letter for so long,” Yoongi confesses. Jennie stops petting Holly, his brown owl, to glance over at him; they’re up in the Owlery at his request. He’s smoothing out the letter but it’s crumpled beyond belief. The ink is a little faded too, from constant folding and unfolding, but Yoongi had let her read it before and she knows that his writing is still legible. His thoughts, albeit worded clumsily in messy handwriting, still make sense—that he can’t imagine a life where he doesn’t imagine eventually pursuing music and he hopes he doesn’t have to imagine a life without his parents’ support. There’s a distant look in his eyes. “I was a fourth year when I wrote it. I think I was fourteen?”

 

“You don’t have to send it if you don’t feel like you’re ready yet.” She flinches when Holly pecks at her finger, as if to remind Jennie to continue petting her.

 

Yoongi shakes his head. Resolutely slips the letter into a crisp envelope, even when his fingers shake a little bit, out of nerves or the cold, Jennie can’t tell. “I’ve wanted to tell them for the longest time. I just never had the courage.”

 

Holly coos, leaning forwards to affectionately rub her head against Yoongi’s hand before she grasps the envelope with her beak. And then she’s flying off; they watch her get smaller and smaller until Holly becomes just a speck in the sky.

 

“Look at you, being all brave,” Jennie teases in an attempt to lighten the mood. She nudges his shoulder, pliant as he tugs her close. “Maybe the Sorting Hat got it all wrong and you were meant to be in Gryffindor.”

 

“I just sent a letter,” Yoongi protests but his eyes look a lot brighter. “If anything,  _ you’re _ the brave one.”

 

She loops her arms around his neck and beams at him, joking, “I’ll protect you from all the scary things.”

 

“I’m counting on it,” he says before closing the distance between them.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jennie stretches luxuriously outside of the greenhouse under the dying rays of the setting sun. She slips her earmuffs off and crouches down to rest for a moment; to make up for the half-assed Herbology essay she had turned in a while back, she spent her entire Saturday growing mandrakes and checking on the existing ones for second year students. She’s been making up for a lot of half hearted work, she realizes. Not anymore though; she’s determined to do well.

 

It’s soothing being outside where there isn’t a lot of people—which is why Jennie’s confused when she hears crinkling leaves and staggered breathing.

 

“I looked everywhere for you,” Chaeyoung breathes out as she comes to a stop in front of Jennie and catches her breath. “Can we talk?”

 

“Yeah.” Jennie stands up just as Chaeyoung starts sitting down. “Let’s sit,” Jennie decides quickly before Chaeyoung can get up again.

 

Chaeyoung nods, nibbling at her lower lip, and watches as Jennie lowers herself. She looks uncertain but turns to Jennie anyways. “I . . .” she trails off, eyebrows furrowed. Clears her throat. “I had this idea in my head for so long that werewolves were inherently evil. My mom would scare me with stories of Fenrir Greyback when I was younger to make me go to bed and—I don’t know, I guess it was just something I never really thought about further than that? But then I found that Wolfsbane potion in your drawer and I . . . I was really scared. And confused. Because I couldn’t reconcile this scary image of a werewolf who lost all control with you and ugh, I’m probably making this worse.”

 

Jennie has her gaze firmly cast to the ground as she shrugs and quietly says, “I’m still listening.” It hurts listening to Chaeyoung talk about all the negative connotations with werewolves, even if Jennie knows that there’s some basis for them. But it’s a dull sort of pain—Jennie knows she doesn’t fit into any of those stereotypes. 

 

(She won’t let herself and that’s a fact.)

 

Chaeyoung twists her fingers together. “I know this is no excuse for how I’ve been avoiding you and for how I reacted but truthfully, at the time, I was overwhelmed. Something I thought was black and white suddenly turned out to be so grey but werewolves don’t get to choose if they transform.”

 

Jennie nods slowly.

 

“And without the wolfsbane potion, werewolves don’t have control over their actions during full moons. Even the most peaceful werewolf would succumb to their instincts and I’m  _ so _ sorry you have to deal with this transformation every month. I’m so sorry I thought that just because werewolves are dangerous, you were too. You’re not. I get that now. And I’m sorry it took so long.” Chaeyoung pauses as if to take a moment to steady her voice and Jennie’s alarmed at the dampness of Chaeyoung’s eyes. “I understand if you can’t forgive me but—”

 

“Don’t cry,” Jennie blurts out. She instinctively reaches out to wipe away Chaeyoung’s tears but holds back at the last moment; even though she had been wearing gloves, somehow, there’s still dirt under her nails. “You were scared and I don’t blame you for that. Up until recently, I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that I was a werewolf either. But . . . I just have to deal with the transformations and make the best of the situation. I’m still the same person, even if I have to face more difficulties in reaching my goals.”

 

For the longest time, Jennie had been unable to come to terms with the fact that she was a werewolf. She got used to ignoring it, to hiding that aspect from her as deeply as she could while praying that somehow, early in her lifetime, there would be a cure.

 

There might never be.

 

Regardless, it’s not something Jennie is going to let hold her back anymore.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“So, I was reading this book and I kind of made a care package for you?”

 

Jennie blinks. She rubs her eyes once to make sure she’s not hallucinating Chaeyoung standing in front of her. It’s late at night; Jennie had just come back after meeting Yoongi in the astronomy tower—she had been determined to prove she knew  _ something _ about astrology—and the last thing she expected was to see Chaeyoung in Ravenclaw’s common room. Chaeyoung’s dressed in her pajamas and is clutching a worn out book, dog-eared in many places. There’s a small shoulder bag on the couch Chaeyoung had been sitting on and Jennie follows Chaeyoung, confused, when the younger girl motions for her to sit down.   

 

“It’s just a few things, but I thought it could help,” Chaeyoung says nervously as Jennie peers into the bag.

 

There’s not much in there: just a few granola bars, a bottle of water, a pocket sized planner and a copy of  _ Hairy Snout, Human Heart _ . A quick glance at Chaeyoung confirms that it’s the same book she’s holding. Jennie holds it up, bewildered. “Isn’t this a self-help book? About relationships?”

 

“That’s a different book,” Chaeyoung quickly corrects. “This one is about lycanthropy from a werewolf’s perspective and it was really enlightening for me to read so I thought . . . maybe you’d like it?” At Jennie’s silence, she continues, “The rest are just things I thought might be helpful. Like I marked all the full moons in the planner. And I don’t know if you ever get hungry or thirsty once you shift back so I included water and food.”

 

Jennie’s heart swells. She leans over to hug Chaeyoung, who relaxes in her embrace. “Thank you,” she says sincerely. Truth be told, she really doesn’t need all the stuff—many years of dealing with full moons has left her more or less prepared—but she mentally notes to use everything Chaeyoung gave her anyways. 

 

“And I thought, like if you wanted to, of course, maybe one Hogsmeade trip we could go and sneak into the Shrieking Shack to clean it?”

 

“To clean the Shrieking Shack,” Jennie echoes slowly, trying to wrap her head around the idea.

 

“It must be really dusty in there especially since I figured nobody stays in there for an extended amount of time,” Chaeyoung explains earnestly. “But you go back there basically once a month and wouldn’t it be nice to have it be clean for once?”

 

Jennie bites back her smile. “It would,” she acknowledges, “but if all goes well and I keep to schedule with drinking the Wolfsbane potion, I basically sleep through the night. So there’s really no need to clean the rest of the Shrieking Shack. And wasting a Hogsmeade on cleaning doesn’t sound like much fun.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“It means a lot that you even considered it,” Jennie says. “Honestly.”

 

“Okay.” Chaeyoung reaches over to squeeze Jennie’s hand comfortingly. “If you ever need help though, you can ask me. Always.” Chaeyoung breaks off in the middle of her sentence to yawn and Jennie urges Chaeyoung in the direction of her dorm despite her mumbled protests.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I don’t get it,” Yoongi says. Jennie glances up from her textbook, arching an eyebrow at how he’s tilted back, precariously balanced on the two back legs of his chair. He’s frowning at the book he has open in one hand and she notices how he’s only a couple chapters in. Jennie had started  _ Hairy Snout, Human Heart _ a few days ago but she’s almost done with it—a perk of being a fast reader. Despite that, Yoongi had borrowed his own copy from the library and insisted to read the book with her—with means that Jennie now has to wait for him to catch up. 

 

She gets a feeling that it’ll take him a while, though.

 

“Like where does he start talking about being a werewolf?” Yoongi continues, letting his chair fall forward with a soft  _ thud _ as he skims the ending. “All I’m seeing is how to prevent a hairy heart.”

 

Jennie frowns.  _ A hairy heart? _ The term seems familiar but Jennie can’t quite remember where it came from. “Isn’t that from a fable? Like the one where a wizard takes his heart out and hides it because he thinks love is weak or whatever.”

 

“Yeah, but this book is about relationships.” He slides the book across the table when Jennie reaches out for it. There’s a careful look in his eyes as he watches her flip to the beginning.

 

She sighs. “Wrong book, genius.” Jennie taps the cover. “The book Chaeyoung gave me is called  _ Hairy Snout, Human Heart. _ Not,” she tilts her head, “ _ The Hairy Heart: A Guide to Wizards Who Won’t Commit _ .”

 

He raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, the titles are sort of similar. And I thought . . .”

 

“You thought,” she prompts when he trails off.

 

He shrugs, suddenly looking really uncomfortable. Jennie attributes this to the whispering Gryffindors seated at a table adjacent to their’s. By the looks of it, they’re underclassmen and have been sneaking glances at Yoongi and Jennie behind their propped up books and gossiping. She hadn’t thought much of it when he had sat down at her table a few hours ago; in retrospect, she should have known that this would contribute to the rumors flying around about them.

 

“Do you want to move to somewhere more quiet?” she offers, already getting ready to leave. He nods a heartbeat later, bottom lip caught between his teeth, before silently helping her gather her stuff.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She’ll replay the moment later that night in her head as she gets ready for bed—it’s odd, how he’s been lingering in her thoughts recently. And she wonders if maybe . . .

 

Jennie shakes her head. Refuses to entertain the thought any longer because what they have right now is  _ good _ and she doesn’t want to mess it all up by deluding herself into believing that he might like her as much as she likes him.

 

(What she doesn’t know is this: that he can’t stop thinking about her either, that he keeps denying, denying, denying when Park Jimin picks up on his crush and starts teasing him about it but each denial sounds weaker and weaker, even to his own ears and he wonders if maybe . . .

 

If maybe he should take a leap and ask her to be his.)

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Yoongi!”

 

Yoongi—and Sooyoung, who had been ranting to him about something—turns around. There’s a cautious look in his eyes when he notices Jisoo next to Jennie. Still, he offers her a smile. Steps a little closer to her, despite Sooyoung’s watchful gaze.

 

“You left this,” Jennie says and reaches into her bag to pull out his music notebook. “I figured it was probably important to you.”

 

“Just a little bit,” Yoongi agrees, a ghost of a smile on his lips. 

 

Meanwhile, Jisoo stares Sooyoung down, posture perfect as if to match up for the few inches Sooyoung has on her. “We’re going to beat you guys,” she declares confidently despite most students predicting Slytherin winning against Ravenclaw in the upcoming Quidditch match.

 

“Sure,” Sooyoung says, disinterested in her conversation with Jisoo and more focused on Jennie.

 

“Are you still going to the game?” Yoongi asks.

 

Jennie opens her mouth but Sooyoung cuts in. “Oh, come on,” she says, although not unkindly. She just sounds incredulous, a little bit disbelieving, as if the idea of the two even hanging out was too ridiculous to even entertain. “Why do you care if she goes or not?”

 

He glances at Sooyoung. “Because I want to make a bet with her,” he says before redirecting his attention to Jennie. “ _ When _ Slytherin wins, then you’ll go on a date with me. A proper one.”

 

Sooyoung’s mouth drops. Jisoo also looks confused but also indigent as she blurts, “What do you mean ‘ _ when _ ’ Slytherin wins?”

 

Jennie nods, trying to act solemn despite the smile toying at her lips. “Yeah, what if Ravenclaw wins?”

 

“In the very unlikely event that it does happen, then I’ll let you have the honors of asking me out.”

 

Jennie snorts. “What if I don’t want to go with you though?” she teases, just for the sake of putting up an appearance of a fight.

 

“Then we can go with friends,” Yoongi says cheekily. “And then ditch them.”

 

“How about this?” Jennie leans forwards. There are butterflies in her stomach, only intensified by his bright smile. She has a feeling she looks just as infatuated. “No bets. Will you go out with me to next Hogsmeade, Yoongi?”

 

“Well,” he pauses dramatically, “since you  _ asked. _ ”

 

She knows she has a lot of explaining to do to her friends—Jisoo’s still in mild shock, murmuring something under her breath that sounds akin to “so  _ Lisa was right” _ . Jennie doesn’t need tea leaves to tell her that the future is uncertain; this much she can figure out on her own. Still, it looks a lot brighter than before and Jennie gets the feeling that she’ll be more than fine in the future.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for all the inconsistencies (whether it’s the characterizations, lack of british terms lmao, hogwarts lore, etc). thanks to everyone who read this and especially to all who commented bc rereading all those comments was what motivated me to actually finish a multi chaptered fic for once :’)
> 
> fun facts:  
> \- in my original draft, jennie runs away after blurting out that she’s a werewolf to yoongi—and then they talk about it later when yoongi finds jennie, who’s been avoiding him. i changed it because i wanted jennie to reach a breaking point—and to choose to not be ashamed that she’s a werewolf because regardless, she can’t change it.
> 
> \- in the first chapter, jennie reads jisoo’s tea leaves—the friend in danger was not lisa, but jennie. jisoo predicts what she does because she sees an torch (turn for better), a coat (parting of a friendship) and an ant (success through perseverance). the torch was supposed to be an eagle (since they roughly mean the same thing) but like?? how can you make out an eagle from tea dregs?? or like anything i listed tbh. i feel like you’d have to be hardcore reaching to make that conclusion irl LOL
> 
> \- the chord progression mentioned in this chapter (vi - iii - IV) turns out to be f minor, c minor, d flat major when you play it in a flat major and this is actually the basis for i need u!! i was gonna choose something from suga’s solo, first love, except it’s way more complicated lol
> 
> \- the story takes place a week or two into september, after school starts, and ends near the end of february, which is when the slytherin vs ravenclaw game is.
> 
> \- in the headcanon below, i mentioned yoongi joining the tutshill tornados and the only reason i chose them instead of a more well known team is bc cho chang, the only east asian i remember off the top of my head from harry potter, supports them haha
> 
> random headcanons:  
> \- taehyung and jisoo suffer through some rough patches as they progress further in their relationship—a combination of him constantly missing their dates bc he’s in detention and jisoo’s overt fawning over ravenclaw’s quidditch team despite taehyung’s insecurity leads to their first fight. they eventually make up though after jisoo blindly defends taehyung when he’s falsely accused of committing this disastrous prank that leaves a few students hurt. and taehyung, on a hair dying streak, dyes his hair blue and (grudgingly) shows up to support ravenclaw’s quidditch game
> 
> \- lisa and jungkook eventually get together shortly after she confronts him in what is their most awkward conversation yet—their first date, at lisa’s insistence, takes place at the great lake where they finally meet the giant squid. they keep their relationship under wraps for a bit to trick taehyung out of money when taehyung, unaware of their relationship and trying to be a Good Bro, bets jungkook five galleons to ask lisa out.
> 
> \- jimin breaks things off with seulgi completely and keeps finding ways to be around chaeyoung, who finds him really annoying at first but eventually grows fond of him as he slowly breaks down her walls. he keeps asking her out and she keeps saying no—except he does success in wearing her down (the moment she realizes she likes him is when the frog choir throws a mini concert and they actually have a decent crowd bc jimin forced all his friends to go lol). right before jimin’s first quidditch game in his seventh year, she says yes when he asks her out. he doesn’t quite process it thought, so used to her saying no, that it doesn’t hit him until the middle of the actual game. he’s so disoriented that they lose but he finds he doesn’t really mind when chaeyoung’s there to comfort him at the end.
> 
> \- yoongi eventually takes an offer from tutshill tornados to play quidditch after he graduates—he wants to 1) save up money and 2) use his career as a stepping stone for eventually transitioning to making music. after the contract ends, he quits quidditch to make music and grows rather successful since he already had a vocal following. he ~shocks~ the wizarding world when he introduces technology and aspects of muggle music. his parents never grow to approve of it though and cut off contact; he takes it hard at first but grows to deal with it especially when using music as an outlet is so rewarding.
> 
> \- jennie finishes hogwarts at the top of her grade—she and yoongi don’t really get to meet up, especially when he grows in popularity as a rising rookie chaser, but he’s prone to sending sappy love letters (jennie calls it romantic, yoongi is embarrassed and refuses to talk about it after they’ve been sent) and they make their relationship work despite the long distance. she goes on to become a healer and eventually reconcile with her parents, who show up at her apartment after her first shift as a healer, divorced but ultimately happier.

**Author's Note:**

> a messy guide to characters referenced in this story  
> r a v e n c l a w
> 
> **kim jennie**  || sixth year
> 
> **kim jisoo**  || sixth year
> 
> **park chaeyoung**  || fifth year
> 
> **park jinyoung**  || seventh year ; captain and chaser
> 
>  
> 
> s l y t h e r i n
> 
> **min yoongi** || seventh year ; chaser
> 
> **kim jinhwan**  || seventh year
> 
> **lee jieun**  || seventh year ; captain and chaser
> 
> **park jimin**  || sixth year ; chaser  
>  **park sooyoung** || sixth year ; beater
> 
>  
> 
> g r y f f i n d o r
> 
> **lalisa manoban**  || fifth year ; seeker
> 
> **kim taehyung** || sixth year ; chaser
> 
> **jeon jungkook**  || fifth year ; keeper
> 
> **ong seongwoo**  || sixth year ; commentator
> 
> **kang daniel** || sixth year ; reserve keeper
> 
> **jung hoseok**  || seventh year ; captain and beater
> 
> **choi seungcheol**  || sixth year ; beater
> 
>  
> 
> h u f f l e p u f f
> 
> **oh sehun**  || seventh year ; captain and seeker  
>  **kang seulgi**  || seventh year


End file.
